about all the preparation you went through for the moment that you docked at our gates. I want you to think about what you were expecting, what you had a right to expect before Lisa took you out. You don't have to answer me at this moment. But just think about what I have said.' 'I think there is something here that you don't understand,' I said. 'And if you'd let me talk to Lisa -- ' 'You're going to have to forget about Lisa for a moment, Elliott,' Richard said. 'This is between us. We are giving you a choice ...' 'But that's what I don't understand.' I stood up. 'Are you trying to tell me that Lisa is out of The Club, that Lisa's been fired from The Club!'
I knew I sounded angry, belligerent. I tried not to. I tried to calm down. 'No, Lisa has not been fired,' he said. 'Lisa is in a category unto herself. And if there are any allowances to be made, they will be made for Lisa.' 'Well, then, what's this about?' I was getting even more angry and quite suddenly I was getting angry with her. What had she told them? I was trying to protect her and I didn't even know what she had told them. 'It was my understanding,' I said, 'that she explained to you the circumstances under which I left. You're talking to me like I broke out or something.
And you won't let me talk to her to find out what she'd told you. I don't understand what's going down ...' 'She can't help you now, Elliott,' Scott spoke up. 'What do you mean, help me?' 'Elliott,' Scott said in a matter of fact way, rising and taking a couple of steps in front of me, 'Lisa has cracked.' The word set up an immediate jarring vibration in my head. 'At The Club,' Scott said, 'we have our own meaning for the word cracked.' He glanced at Richard. Richard was watching him. 'It doesn't mean that somebody has gone crazy,' Scott continued, 'lost their marbles, anything like that. It means that somebody cannot function in our environment anymore. And to be absolutely candid, it rarely happens to staff members. When it happens, it happens to slaves. I'm not talking about ordinary resistance, anxiousness, cold feet. We know those symptoms when we see them in all their variety, but now and then a slave really cracks. He just stands up and says in his own way, 'Guess what, fellas, I can't do this anymore,' and we know how to recognize it when it happens for just what it is. And it is useless to ...' Richard suddenly put up his hand. He made a little gesture at Scott that was perfectly eloquent of 'There is no point to telling him all this.'
'I understand,' I said. 'This was bound to be part of it and you don't tell all the slaves this or as soon as the going gets rough ...' 'Exactly,' Scott answered. 'And this is very definitely related to what concerns us here. When you come to The Club you are told there is no escape, no release, no chickening out. That is part of the contract you sign to give us your services in a very special arena of human behaviour.
But it is also part of our guarantee to you: that you will not be allowed to have second thoughts, that you will not be allowed to get out. Now the reasons for this are obvious, Elliott. If you do not know that your incarceration is absolute, then you cannot relax and enjoy what is going on. You are going to start thinking: 'What I'm doing really feels great, but I feel stupid doing this! What if my Aunt Margaret saw me in these harnesses and chains? Golly, this is great but I better get out of here. I haven't got the nerve for this.' Guilt would do that to you. Elliott, self-consciousness, the natural ambivalences to which we're all prone. But when you're incarcerated and there is no alternative, then you can really experience the interplay of dominance and subservience that is The Club. And it is absolutely imperative that no escape be possible, or contemplated or dreamed of. Which is why you must come back to The Club.' He pause, glancing at Richard. 'Elliott, every trainer and handler on the island knows about you and Lisa,' Richard said. His voice was a little tireder