flat line and he nodded. "You know it's hard for me to believe anything considering his age and status, right? He wields a lot of power, Aid. Maybe you don't realize it."
"I can see where you're coming from and why you would think that, but it's not the case. I promise on my life, it's not."
I could tell by the look in Hayden's eyes that he wasn't convinced.
"When did it start? Who else knows?" he asked.
"A couple of months after I moved here. The only other person who knows anything is Avery, but she doesn't know everything yet."
"Are you going to tell her?"
"Eventually, yes. She's my best friend, but I'm worried she'll judge me."
"Would you have told me had I not caught you?"
I contemplated my answer for a long moment. Hayden knew the answer before I told him. "Probably not."
"You gave him your virginity," he stated more than asked.
I thrust my glass toward him for a refill. "Wow. No foreplay." We both threw back another half shot. The memory of losing my virginity filled my mind. Just like anyone's first time, it was uncomfortable and painful; but Kova had gone slow and allowed me to adjust to his size, then brought me more pleasure than I could've ever imagined.
"I did," I finally said, heat rushing to my cheeks.
He blinked. "So Kova knew you were a virgin and he didn't care?"
I shook my head in protest. "I didn't tell him. He didn't know."
He scoffed. "That's impossible."
"It's not. How would he have known if I didn't tell him?"
"I don't know, a hymen being there for one."
I ignored that. "He found out afterward and went ballistic."
A dark shadow cast over Hayden's blue eyes. They reminded me of the deep ocean. "What do you mean ballistic?" he growled.
"We had an argument over it. Things got a little tense."
"A little tense," he repeated under his breath. "Where were you when it happened?"
"Here."
Hayden went ramrod straight. "You mean to tell me he came to have sex with you here? In your condo, where you couldn't escape him? Did you do it so he'd pay more attention to you?"
That upset me.
"There was no need to escape him because I didn't want to." My voice rose as I accentuated each word with a sharp bite. "I wanted it, I liked it." The thought of having sex with Kova caused a stir of sensations to stream through my body. My cheeks flushed again. Even though I was devastated over the fact that he took me out of the meet, I couldn't stop my body from reacting to him. Everything we shared was everything I wanted, and trying to get Hayden to comprehend that was deeming to be a challenge.
"You're blushing." Hayden's head tilted to the side and his jaw dropped. "You're thinking about it, aren't you? You're thinking about fucking him." Shaking his head in disbelief, Hayden poured himself a whole shot and quickly threw it back, then he filled mine but I didn't move to drink it. "I can't believe it," he muttered under his breath with disgust.
My brows shot up. I looked over his shoulder. "No, I'm not."
"You're lying. I can see it in your eyes."
"Fine. I am. What do you want from me, Hayden? I'm telling you the truth—it's what you asked for. I liked having sex with Kova, I liked everything about it. I can't help if thinking about it gets me all hot and bothered." Hayden went to speak but I cut him off. "And he didn't come here to fuck, he came to talk to me. One thing led to another and it kind of just happened."
He gave me a droll stare. "Things like that don't just happen, Aid—"
"I can't just fall onto a dick, I know," I mocked. "Avery said the same thing."
Hayden let out a laugh, lightening the tension in the room. My shoulders relaxed. "Well, Avery's right. It's not possible."
"Yeah, I know, but Hayden…you don't understand. It's honestly not what you think. We connected on a purely psychological level. We understand each other and want the same things. Never in a million years did I expect this to happen."
He shook his head, disagreeing. "He's your coach, though. He, more than anyone, knew better than to get involved with his gymnast. Let alone, your age. I place the blame solely on him for what's happened, he's the catalyst in all of this. I don't understand how he could take advantage, Aid. It's disgusting."
I flinched.
Hayden sighed. "I'm trying to understand this, but