if Hayden would look down on me or see me any differently. Tightness seized my chest and I tried to rub the ache away. Tears prickled the back of my eyes. This mess was my problem and I had only myself to blame. Crying wouldn't solve this.
"Hey," Hayden said. "I know what you're thinking."
"You can't possibly," I mumbled.
"I'm not going to judge you. I promise. I just want to know what happened, Adrianna. Help me understand."
I looked at him. "Okay, maybe you did read my mind," I said through a sad chuckle. "If I must do this, you better drink with me."
A friendly smile lit up his face. "I can't get sloshed, I have to drive home."
"Stay the night," I suggested, not giving it a second thought. "But let your sister know first so she doesn't call in a panic tomorrow morning like she did last time."
His brows angled toward each other. "You want me to stay the night?"
"I think I need you to stay," I said. He accepted, and gratitude in the form of tears filled my eyes. I glanced up at the ceiling to hold them in. My jaw trembled. Once I got my emotions under control, I said, "I don't know if I have any clothes that will fit you to sleep in though."
Hayden leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss to my forehead. He pulled back and looked down. "Don't worry. I sleep in my boxers."
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I climbed onto his lap and buried my face into his shoulder. I squeezed him with all my might and let out a weighty breath. A few tears slipped from the corners of my eyes. Hayden held me tight, comforting me. I needed him to hold me, to tell me everything was going to be all right. I needed him to make promises, ones I knew he'd hate to keep. The kind that would cause him to struggle between morally right and wrong.
"Shhh…" he said when I sniffled. "It'll be okay. We'll figure something out, but it will be okay. I promise."
I nodded, sniffling. Something in my gut had me on edge. His words comforted me, but I was certain this was a changing point. My life would never be the same. Snuggling into him, he rubbed circles on the small of my back. I was grateful for Hayden and his friendship. His head dipped and his cheek met mine. We sat in silence, save for my soft weeping, as he let me unload my tears on his shoulder.
I needed to come clean, and soon I would, but in this moment, Hayden was exactly what I needed.
Three
"Usually people take a whole shot when they're spilling secrets," Hayden began as I watched the clear liquid fall into one of the shot glasses he'd grabbed from the kitchen. "But since we're both not heavy drinkers, let's start with a half shot so we don't fall on our faces."
Hayden handed me the glass and I agreed. "Good idea." I paused. "So, if I take a shot when the truth gets too hard, you take one too?"
He nodded. "Or when I have a question and the answer you give me is not what I was expecting. But first, we take one just to get things going."
I watched as he poured another half shot for himself. After I had climbed onto his lap, he didn't say a word, didn't push me to speak, he just held me in his warm embrace and wiped the tears from my eyes. His faded blue shirt still had a wet spot from where I cried.
He capped the silver flask and nestled it between his thighs that were the size of tree trunks. Looking up, his crystal blue eyes glimmered with mischief. A timid smile curved the corners of his lips and I felt mine do the same. He was trying to ease me. His sandy blond hair was disheveled, like he’d run his hand through it.
"Ready?" he asked.
I exhaled. "Nope. Let's do this." We clinked our glasses. I brought the glass to my lips and our eyes locked as the cool liquid went down the back of my throat. I cringed. How anyone drank this crap was beyond me. Alcohol was not my thing.
"It feels like fire in my throat," I rasped through the burn.
"Sounds like a symptom of an STD." Hayden laughed.
"You should know, before you ask me anything, that Kova never pushed me," I stressed to him. "Not once."