with such suffering. Settling himself between my legs, he looked deep into my eyes while he positioned himself at my entrance.
"You deserve so much better," he said, then slowly but firmly pushed inside. Reaching behind him, Kova pulled the blanket over us and pushed in a little deeper. The look in his gaze made me want to cry. My heart was breaking because I knew with every fiber of my being that something wasn't okay. The finality of his words, the way he spoke them, it was like he was saying goodbye.
"Go slow, it's been a long time," I said so soft and so gentle. I didn't want him to pull away, but it'd been a while, months, since we’d been so intimate. He could be a savage when he wanted to, but I got the impression it wasn't like that this time for him.
I got the feeling Kova needed someone to breathe air into him.
Nodding, he dipped his chin down and kissed me. I savored the feel of his body. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my heels into the back of his thighs, holding him tighter to me.
"Prosti," he repeated, and my heart started to split down the center.
Kova pulled out and pushed slowly back in all the way. I sighed into his mouth, trying to adjust to his width. It was tight for me at first, but I blocked out the discomfort and took all of him. He did it again, kissing me deep and hard as he thrust in. My back arched, my chest rose, meeting his, and I gasped into his mouth. Strong arms enveloped me. Kova trembled as he held me tightly to him, as if he were holding on for dear life.
"Take what you need," I said, panting against his lips. I looked into his distressed eyes. "Take all of me… I'm yours."
And he did. Kova didn’t hesitate. His hips pulled back and slammed into me, a wave of euphoria rushed through me. My eyes rolled shut from the pleasure as he pulled out so devastatingly slow I could feel every inch of his hardness, even the vein I was familiar with that twirled down the front of his shaft. I felt every inch of his bare length. Kova pulled out just enough so I could feel the crown of his head teasing my entrance.
"Look at me," he demanded in a whisper.
I did…and I blew out a breath.
Kova said a string of words in Russian, trying desperately to keep his emotions together. Just as I thought he would surge back in and ravage me, he pressed in so slow I almost begged him to go faster. His eyes never left mine and a gasp rolled off my lips as he took me all the way. I moaned and so did he. I reached up, but he pressed both my hands to the bed next to my head and laced his fingers with mine. He was breathing so hard.
"No, let me, please. I need this control right now," he begged, breaking. "I need you."
"Anything," I said softly.
He shook his head. Bending down, he pulled my bottom lip into his mouth while his hips rolled in and out into mine, hitting the little bundle of nerves every time. I couldn't stop the sounds escaping my parted lips when he dipped his mouth to my neck and kissed me everywhere. My hips met his thrusts, over and over, and the groaning sounds Kova made, made me feel sublime. His fingers held mine so tight, I felt his struggle, and when he let out a low and long moan, I almost came. It was the sexiest sound in the world.
"Oh, my God," I said breathlessly. "Kova…" I needed to touch him, he somehow managed to release his hold on me, and I grabbed the back of his head, clutching him.
"Mne ochen zhal," he responded on another moan. He twitched inside me and I didn't have it in me to ask him to pull out.
Fuck the consequences.
I tried to hold still, but he made me feel too good. I just hoped I made him feel as good. I grabbed the skin over his ribs, pulling on him. My hands dragged down his back and I pulled on him everywhere I could touch, allowing my nails to score him. My back arched, and my chest pushed into his. Kova held me as he drew back so he was sitting upright and I was straddling his hips. The