“I have spent many years abstaining from taking human lives, but you being so close to me so often is pushing me to the brink, to my breaking point. I’m barely hanging on. I can’t lose you because of what I am. I have some days that are so very difficult for me to keep from…” He looked away in shame. He didn’t need to finish that sentence. I knew what he was saying, and it was not good at all. I felt a deep rip of fear grip my chest. I loved him but I was also terrified by him, a more complicated disaster I could never have imagined.
We sat in silence, both exhausted. The emotions running so high we had no words to speak for a time. Will slowly got up. He was shaking. I thought vampires were always cold. I thought to myself. He seemed to be bothered by the frigid wind. I wanted to ask a million questions but I thought I’d better not. He sat down next to me but was not touching me. I could tell he was afraid to touch me. He put his face in his hands, leaning over, resting his elbows on his knees in sheer exhaustion.
I couldn’t tell you how long we sat there, both freezing, both of us seemingly in shock. William was waiting for me to confirm his worst fear that I was leaving him forever. I was waiting on myself to unlock my brain and try to even think if I could handle this, to accept it all. To accept him, for what he was, or thought he was. I still had doubts, and now I actually hoped he did have a mental delusion of vampirism; it would be much easier to deal with.
“I can drive you home if you want, it’s getting late.” His voice wavered as he spoke. He didn’t look up at me as he always did.
“I guess it is.” That was all I was able to force out of my mouth, and I’d said it in a barely audible whisper. I knew as I stood there at this very point in time, my next decision would affect both our lives forever. I knew my action in the next few minutes would alter all things for me. I never really had a concrete plan set in stone for my future; merely surviving week by week until William came along was the main objective. The plan since he came was to have him in my life and to never let him go.
I now was at a point I would never have imagined. To stay with him would mean to love him and love him completely for all he was, for all he ever had done, and for who he was to become. I couldn’t begin to comprehend how this relationship would work out. I did know vampires didn’t age, and I was getting older just as we sat here. I looked over at him. A tear slid down his cheek, and I could literally feel my heart clench. I was feeling his pain and his fear of my rejection. I knew what that felt like, as I had thought he was rejecting me not but an hour ago.
I knew at that exact second, nothing mattered. I would die for this man, and there was nothing I would not do for him. I knew my love was strong enough to overcome this extreme difference between us. I could deal with the vampire thing, although I really didn’t know the details yet. I just knew I couldn’t handle one day without him in my life. I simply would not allow it to happen.
“Are you ready to go? I am sure you don’t want to be here with me any longer than necessary.” He slowly got up, still refusing to look into my eyes. He quickly wiped the tears off his cheek. I knew he was hoping I didn’t see them.
“No. I’m not going to go William.” He looked up at me suddenly, his eyes wide in shock.
“What?” he gasped, sitting back down hard. Snow swished out from the bench as the icy wind picked up again.
“I love you William, for who you are.” I scooted closer to him, pulling his shaking hand from his coat pocket, and placing it into mine gently. “You are all I ever need or want in my life. I do not care about anything you did in your past, no matter how