it to his house is out of the question, risking running into him and Marcus is too high. I could take it to his parents, but they are sure to know what happened by now, so that’s equally as undesirable.
Maybe I could just give it to Mari on reception, or even Blair; yes, Blair would do it, I’m sure.
I grab the letter off the vanity table and shove it into my clutch bag. Walking over to the mirror I lean in and examine myself, my eyes look dull and tired, my damp hair hangs lifelessly over my shoulders. I could try and do something with it, perhaps put some makeup on, but I just can’t find the motivation.
Sighing, I turn away from my reflection; it’s now or never, grasping the door handle I take a deep breath in before yanking it open.
I was half hoping to find a note from Carlos on the doorstep, but its empty just the immaculately clean shine or marble, glinting up at me.
Tears start to pool in my eyes again. Pull yourself together Kaitlin! I scold myself as I wipe them away with the back of my hand. If I can just get through today, then I leave tomorrow and I can be as sad as I like in the privacy of my own home. I take a minute to mentally pull up the wall around my emotions, the same one I used after Jake left and I’m ready to face the world.
I walk at double speed to the beach, keeping my stare fixed to my feet the whole way, so even if I was to walk past Carlos I would be unaware of it.
I’m relieved to see Blair already waiting for me when I arrive. After a brief hug we begin to walk along the shoreline, away from the resort.
“I’m sorry for dragging you away from John again, what were you two doing today?” I make small talk to fill the silence.
“Oh that’s ok, we weren’t really doing anything today, John is taking advantage of me going out and having a siesta” she smiles.
I’m building up to tell her I’m leaving tomorrow, but I know she will be disappointed at me bailing out.
“Blair, I’ve changed my flight” I start cautiously.
She turns and looks at me quizzically “Oh?”
“I’m leaving tomorrow night” I blurt it out.
“Oh Kate, you don’t need to do that. You shouldn’t let what’s happened ruin this holiday for you!”
“I know, but it kind of already has. I can’t spend another week not leaving my room for fear of bumping into any of the Johnson family.” I try to explain my predicament.
“I guess, but have you even spoken to Carlos about it?”
“No, but he chucked me out of his house and hasn’t tried to contact me, so I don’t think he wants to speak to me.” My voice wavers, but I blink away the forming tears and swallow past the lump in my throat.
“You can’t think like that, of course he was angry at what he saw, but if you don’t explain it, it’s not going to get any better is it? You need to at least give him a chance to understand what happened”
She’s right as usual.
“I have written him a letter” I say meekly, “I was wondering if you might take it to him for me?” I feel pathetic asking her now, as I return my gaze to my feet.
“Of course I will, but I still think it should be done in person, letters can be misconstrued”
“Ok, well you give him the letter” I say taking it out of my bag and handing it to her, “then if he wants to speak to me he knows where to find me, but if not…” I shrug, not knowing how to end the sentence. If not my heart will shatter into a million pieces, if not I don’t think I will ever be able to love again, if not I may as well just lay down and die.
I know I’m being melodramatic, but right now, caught up in the throes of grief yet again, it’s just how I feel. I let myself think we actually had something, that the years I wasted on a bad relationship were not all in vain because they had ultimately lead me to Carlos. I was stupid. I should never have let myself get so involved in a holiday romance, but it seemed so much more than that, I was effectively living with him for God’s sake, no