Carlos a favour showing him who you really are” by now he is inches from my face, spitting the words at me.
“Just fuck off, he knows about Jake. You however don’t have a clue, you disgust me!” I’m shaking with rage, in less than twenty four hours, he’s destroyed everything. I can’t find the words to convey just how fucked up he is.
I run for the door, yanking it open, tears streaming down my face.
“Where are you going?” he shouts.
“To find Carlos” I scream back, banging the door closed after me.
I search everywhere, the beach, the bar, all the winding paths around different apartment blocks, but I can’t find him anywhere.
It’s getting dark, the sun has slipped down beyond the horizon, covering everything with a dusky tone that mirrors my grey mood. I have to fix this, Carlos needs to know what his brother is doing; I’d bet money that this is what happened with his last girlfriend too.
I wander aimlessly around the resort for most of the night, silent tears kissing my cheeks, until there is nothing left inside me. This holiday has been doomed from the start, I’m bruised and broken in every imaginable way and it’s not even over yet. The way I figure I’ve got two choices, stay and attempt to re-kindle things with Carlos, only to then have to leave him again in seven days when I go home, or call the airline in the morning and change my flight; leave tomorrow and just run away from the whole sorry mess.
Even the thought of going home pulls at my heart, being away from Carlos now is killing me, let alone leaving the country. I decide to go back to the house, maybe he has had time to calm down and has returned, at least then I can speak to him and hopefully explain it all away.
Easing the front door open quietly, I step into the darkened room. I can make out Marcus’s silhouette at the breakfast bar; as I approach a smile stretches his lips, “Carlos has had all your stuff returned to your room” he smirks, chucking the key at me, “He doesn’t want to see you here again. If I were you I’d just go back to where you came from”
I guess the decision to stay or go has been taken out of my hands and it knocks the wind right out of me. It didn’t even cross my mind that he would react this way; I expected anger, sure, but to totally cut me out of his life like that and let Marcus deliver the blow! I don’t even have the energy to argue anymore; defeated I leave without a word.
As expected my old room is unchanged, my suitcase sits at the end of the bed as it did the first day I arrived, when I was filled with excitement and anticipation, only this time round I’m anything but. I’m too depressed to call right now, but as soon as I wake up I’m booking onto the first available flight home.
As exhausted as I feel, I can’t sleep; my mind is still reeling from everything that happened tonight. Opening the mini bar I peruse the contents, as much as I might like a stiff drink right now, I think alcohol has got me into enough trouble already tonight, so I settle for eating the entire contents of food instead. It’s mostly chocolate and a couple of pots of cashews, ideal comfort food.
I don’t even bother getting undressed, instead slip under the covers fully clothed with my chocolate hoard and watch the flickering images on the television screen as I devour the lot.
I wake around ten, either I didn’t fall asleep till late, or I was really tired as this is by far the latest I’ve slept in all holiday. Looking around my room it all comes hurtling back, the loss, the regrets, it breaks my heart all over again.
My hair is knotted and rough from going in the sea yesterday, but I can’t even bring myself to shower; all I want to do is cry and wallow in self-pity, how can something so special, unravel so easily? I allow myself another hour in bed, curled on my side, sobbing into the pillow, before dragging myself up.
I need to call the airline; picking up the phone I spend thirty minutes bartering with them, but the earliest flight they can get me on is not until tomorrow night. The man on the phone was