“Nothing sweetness, I was just thinking about Friday” Friday, the day I’m due to go home, including today, it’s just three full days left; my flight back is at eleven am so with check in times and the four hour journey back to the airport, I will need to leave here at about five am, so it doesn’t really count as another day of holiday.
“What were you thinking about it?”
“That I don't want you to go.” he states sadly, “Is there any way you could stay?”
Of course I want nothing more than to stay here with him, but I have a job and a new house, responsibilities I can't just abandon.
“I don't want to go either, but I can't stay. If I don't go back to work I'll be fired”
“Then get fired” he pleads, clinging onto me with everything he has, “I have enough money to support us”
“That's not the point, I love my job and it's not like I could get another one here without speaking the language” everything about this romance has been too good to be true, so it's easy to get caught up in the fantasy, but I need to remain level headed. He could support me I'm sure, but ultimately, with his family already thinking I'm after his money, it would cause more trouble than it's worth. Plus it would be near impossible for me to get any other job here and even if I did, it wouldn't be as good as the one I currently have. I love my job in advertising and I've worked hard for years to get where I am now, I can't just throw all that away on a whim.
“I know,” he admits defeated, “I just can't stand the idea of losing you”
“You're not losing me, I just have to go back. Why don't you come back with me?” I hadn't thought about bringing him home with me before, I would have to work, but a lot of it I could do from home so he wouldn't be stuck on his own all the time.
“I would love that sweetness, but my parents would go mad. I've already missed so much work in the last three weeks, because of you” he jokes, “and we have a big conference next week that I have to be at”
This is why they are holiday romances, because in reality, when the holiday is over and you have to go back to real life, it's impossible to continue.
“How long would it be till you would be able to come to England?” I give one last attempt to keep our dream alive.
He ponders it for a minute before delivering the disheartening blow, “At least another six weeks, if I worked double time and could get ahead of myself, I could probably take a two week holiday. What about you?” there's hope in his voice, as he wills me to be able to come back sooner.
“I've used all the holiday I have, I only get twenty one days a year and this was it. I don't get any more now until October.” another four months away and even if I could wait that long, the most I could come back for is another three weeks and we both know how that isn't long enough.
I hate talking about it, I guess we've known all along that we have a three week limit, but we've never spoken about it, so there was always hope that something might delay the inevitable.
“That sucks” he complains, “well I guess it's six weeks apart then”
I look at him surprised, I had assumed that as it was so difficult for us to see each other again, that we would just enjoy the time we had left and let the flame sizzle out once I went home. I didn't think he might actually want to try and hold on to what we have.
“Really? You'll come to England?”
“Yes, you can't get away from me that easily Ms. Mavers” he laughs.
For some unknown reason I feel like crying, I'm happy that it's not the end and I'm sad that I still have to cope with six weeks without him, then who knows how long we will be apart after that visit; this whole trip has been a roller coaster of emotions and even as it culminates to an end, I can start to see a whole new one starting up again in the near future.
This is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to