But he couldn’t worry about who. Not now.
How was he supposed to do this?
What if I lose her?
The unanticipated question followed by a surge of unrestrained emotions surprised him.
All that mattered now was saving her.
Three hours later, Jonas paced the floor of the empty waiting room, anxious to hear from the doctors. Madison’s sister had arrived shortly after he had, but he had little information to share with her. All he really knew was how much blood Madison had lost and how unresponsive she’d been. And as far as he was concerned, it was going to take a miracle to save her. Seeing her lying motionless on the floor had shaken him and left him to untangle a string of emotions he wasn’t sure how to interpret. But the bottom line was that the thought of losing her had left him reeling.
Felicia’s face flashed in front of him, pushing the present away for a moment. He could still hear her voice. Telling him she didn’t want to see him again, no matter how hard he pleaded with her. For weeks he’d done everything to convince her he didn’t want to lose her. That it didn’t matter to him that she’d lost her leg. Nothing could change how he felt about her, but eventually, he’d had no choice but to accept defeat and simply walk away.
This situation, though, was different. Madison was just a friend. A colleague. One he had no problem trusting with his life, but he had no intentions of giving her his heart. Besides, he’d seen her face when she talked about her husband. No matter how many years had passed, she was still in love with him.
“Jonas?” His mom stood in the doorway of the waiting room. “I thought you might need someone to talk to.”
He crossed the room and gave her a hug. “Thank you. Though I didn’t expect you to come down here.”
“I was worried. About her, about you. What happened?”
“Presumably it was a home invasion. She was shot in the abdomen. She’s in surgery now. And I . . . I still don’t know if she’s going to make it.”
Saying it out loud made it seem even more real.
“Is it somehow connected to the case you were working?” his mom asked.
“I don’t know. I went to see her at her house . . . heard a gunshot . . . and when I got inside, she was bleeding out on the floor.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“So am I.” Jonas fought back the emotions he was used to keeping shut off. “I trained her a few years ago, and we just spent the past week together tracking down a fugitive.”
His hands were shaking in front of him, so he shoved them into his pockets, then sat down in one of the cushioned chairs.
His mom sat down next to him. “I know this has to dredge up a lot of old memories.”
He blew out a sharp breath. He’d almost lost Felicia and now . . . It was as if life was repeating itself. A nightmare he couldn’t wake up from, because he was already awake. Maybe that was why his reaction seemed so intense. Why he couldn’t shake the terror over finding her dying.
“I don’t know what to do,” he said.
His mom took his hands and squeezed them. “We pray.”
Ten minutes later, Madison’s sister stepped into the room. Prayer had given him a calmness he hadn’t felt before, but a layer of anxiety still lingered.
Jonas stood up. “Danielle. How is she?”
“The bullet hit the right upper abdomen, and the CT scan showed a liver laceration. No injury to her lungs. The next twenty-four hours are going to be crucial. She lost a lot of blood, but the surgery went well.”
“Wow. I’m so glad.” He let her words sink in. “So she’s going to be okay?”
“It will take some time, but the doctor believes at this point that she’ll make a full recovery.” Danielle clutched the strap of her purse. “I need to warn you, though, she’s having some memory issues. But she’s awake, surprisingly talkative, and asked to see you.”
Jonas hesitated. “What kind of memory issues?”
“Mainly, she doesn’t remember who shot her. But the doctor is confident that the memories will return. Just keep your visit short.”
He nodded. “Thank you.”
“Of course. You saved her life. I’m grateful.”
He said goodbye to his mom, then walked into Madison’s room a moment later, pausing for a moment at the end of the bed. Her face was pale, and she looked