peek inside Matt Dolgens’ brain. A guy that most girls (who hadn’t already) would give anything to hook up with. Most girls but her.
“Isn’t that redundant?” Matt muttered. “Isn’t anonymity by definition complete?”
“It’s not redundant if it’s emphatic,” Devon pushed back.
“Touché.” He finally glanced up.
Devon wasn’t supposed to give advice. That would ruin the whole counselor/peer dynamic. Nor was she supposed to accuse a subject of anything. But something was off with Matt. It all came down to how she found out. This could take a wrong turn very easily, but all her instincts told her this was the conversation she should be having. So what if she told a slight lie to get to the point.‡ Screw it. She’d already lied. She’d blown it already.
“Since the Oxy Hutch took wasn’t registered with the Health Center, I’m supposed to double check if there’s anything you’re taking that Nurse Reilly should know about. What did you have a prescription for again? Adderall? Anything else?” Devon kept her voice light and curious, careful to avoid sounding like she was accusing him of anything.
Matt sighed loudly. “Gee, doc, let me think. Of course the Oxy wasn’t registered. It wasn’t his. He didn’t take the stuff.”
“Okay, well, what about you? Anything potentially dangerous?”
Matt leveled his dark green eyes at her, his sun-bleached eyebrows narrowed together. “This is total Amateur Hour, Devon. You’re not my shrink and you’re definitely not a doctor. You’re a sixteen-year-old that took a class or two this summer and you wanna talk about Adderall? You’re in over your head.”
It was too late to retreat now. “Matt, come on, everyone knows you live on the stuff. And with the way Hutch—”
“It’s got nothing to do with Hutch,” Matt interrupted, his voice thick. “It’s got nothing to do with Hutch, okay? Trust me. It doesn’t matter how he.… Isla’s the one with the problem, not Hutch. Why do you think they broke up? Hutch had like some awakening this summer. The guy freakin’ started meditating every morning. Suicide was not on his radar, I’m telling you.” For the first time since he’d sat down, his expression pleaded with her to believe him. “It doesn’t make sense. I saw him right before.…” He buried his head in his hands.
Devon leaned forward but stopped herself. She wanted to hold his hand, hug him, anything to comfort him, but that wasn’t appropriate. Matt Dolgens, a guy she’d known for two years, was crying over his best friend in front of her—and all she was allowed to do was ask questions and take notes.
“When was the last time you saw him?” she managed. “It might help to get that off your chest if you tell me.”
Matt exhaled long and slow. “Tuesday night. He was in my room. We were checking the surf report for Wednesday and he got a call. It pissed him off, I don’t know why, but he said he had to deal with it. Then a ‘good night’ and that was it. I heard him talking on his cell in his room and then he put on some music. He must have snuck out to the Palace after curfew, but I didn’t hear it. And then I saw that text the next morning, but it was too late.” He drummed his fingers on his knees again.
“I’m listening.” Devon whispered.
“We were supposed to be friends from here on out, ya know?” Matt stared at the window. “We had plans. Boulder for college, live in San Francisco after. Surf Maverick’s on weekends. I always thought he’d be there. That’s the whole Keaton promise, isn’t it? Make friends for life. Well, I did that, and he reneged. It just doesn’t make sense.”
“You’re right, it doesn’t make sense,” she agreed.
“And the mess he left me with.” Matt shook his head and rubbed his wet cheeks with the back of his palm. “Like I said, you’re in over your head, Devon.”
“How am I in over my head? I’m here to help you, Matt. Whatever you need to tell me, please tell me. I can help you solve it. What was Hutch in to?”
He stood. “I can tell you this,” he offered in a hoarse voice. “Hutch was going to ask you to prom next year. He said, no matter what happened, or who either of you were with, you two were going to prom together senior year.” Matt looked back at her, gauging her reaction. There was the slightest hint of a crooked smile on his lips, as