more like a final good-bye than a good-bye for now. Her stomach began to burn. She was fighting inside—fighting something she would have to accept later. This untimely mission might mean that the relationship which had begun between them would forever be dashed, never given a chance to grow and develop into something she was sure would be beautiful and everlasting. But was this her imagination running wild again? Was he right? Was she chasing windmills and trying to do things that were impossible? Was any of this real?
His face was without emotion. A mask had covered what was once there.
Unsure whether or not it was her right to ask, she decided to pose her question.
“Will I see you again?”
“Of course. Sort of depends on you, though,” he said.
“How do you mean?”
Jason’s face was hard to read. “We’ve had a nice time together. Kind of took me by surprise, to be honest. I normally don’t do this sort of thing,” he said.
“What sort of thing?”
“Jump in fast. Play house on the first date, that sort of thing. Maybe I’ve been unfair to you. I’d like to stay in touch, but I have no expectations, nor do I have any claim on you, Kiley. You’re here, in Florida, but your real life’s in Portland. My life’s in Coronado, and it has to remain that way. I expected we’d have some time to talk, you know. Get to know each other more, but—”
“We’ve talked,” she joked, trying to keep it lighthearted, but her insides were shredded. She hoped her mask was holding up as well as his was.
“Yeah, we did.” He looked down at her with a grin that sent sizzles down her spine.
She knew he was right. They’d jumped in so deep without knowing anything about each other, and now separating so soon felt like the end of a beautiful dream. It was going to be hard to concentrate, thinking about what a wonderful time they’d had. It was more than sex for her. She was going to miss him for reasons she couldn’t work out yet. She just knew it was going to be the case.
“You didn’t get to see the best part of Florida,” she finally said.
He studied her body slowly, the grin deepening. “I think I saw all the best parts of Florida. Those are places I’d like to return to, some day, when the time is right.”
“So would I, Jason. Is it wrong for me to want to see you again? After I get home, can you visit me up there?” A tiny slip of fear cooled her veins. She didn’t want to hold on too tightly. She could scare him away.
“You’re still thinking about going back to Portland?”
“I can’t stay here forever.”
Jason looked through the window to the beach and waves beyond. “There are worse places to be. It’s kinda grown on me. But I understand. Hawaii will always be my true home, too.”
She walked to the sliding glass door, looking out at the ocean. She didn’t want this to end, but she was a grown up. The best thing she could do right now was to show him that. Besides, there had never been any promises made, like Jason said. Their worlds were so far apart it was hard to imagine they could stay connected, as nice as it felt to think about it that way.
“Come on. Let’s take a walk,” he urged.
He took her hand, and they made their way down to the surf. Kids were digging in the sand, creating forts and collecting shells. Couples of various ages walked slowly by. The bicycle crowd was missing today, but a group of women runners greeted them. It was almost painful for her to see normal life breezing by, seemingly carefree, while she was carrying such a heavy burden, knowing that she was going to have to let go of something she wasn’t ready to release. She was going to miss him.
Barefoot, they let the water lap at their feet. The full noonday sun wasn’t out yet. He pulled her hand and they walked along the shore.
“Tell me about Hawaii?” she asked, thinking it might be the last time they could talk about it.
“Hard to describe how I feel about her. Whenever I think of home, I smell flowers, I see dancing, family get-togethers, the little kids running around, barbequed pig and fresh fruit. Hawaii is like a beautiful woman with a perfect body, who will never grow old. The sunsets are like here.”
“Sounds beautiful.”
“People