“Was that okay? Did I do okay? How was it?” His insecurity tumbled out.
Judd was reminded, again, that Colin was really bloody young.
Judd gave a broad grin. “Deep and thorough. Exactly how I like it.”
Colin brightened. “Deep and thorough, huh? Like all good research?”
“No wonder you’re great at schoolwork, Gingersnap. All is now clear.”
Colin obviously didn’t want to be serious. He wanted to play. “I like my sex like I like my research?”
“With proper citation?” Judd understood the need to be flippant.
“Mostly done in the library?
“Peer-reviewed?”
Colin giggled.
“Good lesson, huh?”
Colin’s full lips twitched into a small smile. “The best. Bet I could ace an exam.”
“Bet you could, baby.”
“Will there be an essay?”
Judd chuckled. “Naw, it’s multiple choice. In. Out. In. Out.”
Colin snorted. “Ohmygod, you’re such a dork. I thought I was the dork.”
Judd pretended affront. “I can be dorkish.”
“You’re really bad at it.”
Judd grumbled and levered himself up. “So… topping. Whatcha think?”
Colin clasped his hands together. “That was basically the best thing ever. Why would anyone want to do anything else?”
Judd laughed. “Don’t get so cocky.”
“But I did good, yeah?”
“Good enough that I’m feeling like the student is mastering the teacher. Maybe starting to want more.” Judd tested to see how Colin might react. Tested possession and permanence… togetherness.
Colin took it the wrong way, of course. “You think I’m ready to leave the nest? Go on to try more things with other people?”
That was not at all what Judd meant to imply by more. But if Colin’s big brain went that way, perhaps that was what he wanted? It was a stupid idea, anyway, the kid was way too young for anything more serious. This was meant to be just lessons – a dalliance. He shouldn’t have pushed.
“Is that what you want?” Judd understood where Colin was coming from. They’d agreed this was temporary. It’s only, Judd had thought it would be longer than three times together. He’d hoped to convince Colin for more with him. Even if that was selfish. Even if Colin should go out, sow his wild oats, or whatever young people sowed these days.
Honestly, Judd couldn’t blame Colin for not being interested in a real relationship with him. Who would want some big, brash, possessive enforcer asshole around all the time?
“I…” Colin sounded crestfallen. “If you’re ready to stop, I can be graceful about it. But I thought you said I was good at topping.”
Judd’s heart gave a great thump in his chest. Of course Colin would take it like that. Poor Gingersnap always assumed nobody wanted him. “The best I have ever had. No joke. I would love to do it again. And more. And other stuff. As long as you want. I was giving you an out.”
Colin looked less scared and more determined. “Well, I am young. Can’t settle down too soon. I mean we agreed. Only lessons. Nothing long term or permanent. Right?”
Judd’s felt shaky – wary and unsteady. “That is what we agreed, yeah.”
“Okay, so maybe a few more times? Just to be on the safe side.”
Shit, what the hell had just happened? How could he misstep so badly? Judd was confused and sex-addled, and hurt. What was going on in his Gingersnap’s psyche that he always took everything so awry?
Still, it was better than either of them storming out. Although Colin looked like he wanted to.
Judd took a deep breath. Willed Colin to do the same. “Let’s table this until we deal with your mother one last time, okay?”
“Alec agreed to have us bodyguard her today?”
“Yeah, at a huge up-charge. We’re definitely earning enough for that extra bathroom. Good thing too. Can’t have me waddling down hallways leaking your jizz down my legs.”
“Why is that so hot?”
“Like a man who waddles, do you?” And just like that they were back on safe ground.
15
Forever and Ever, Whipped Cream
Colin felt so foolish. That he’d considered, even for a second, that Judd would want anything more than a dalliance with someone like him. This had been, all along, a favor Judd was doing for a friend. Stupid to forget that for even a moment.
Colin wasn’t that stupid, though. He had noticed things that had given him hope. Like the way Judd always turned towards him in a room. The way the big man inhaled his scent, and relaxed when touching him. His obvious desire and eagerness in bed was reassuring too. Colin screwed his eyes shut in an effort to stop himself from thinking of these as