“I’m not all that sensitive,” Judd admitted. This was meant to be an education after all. Colin should know this kind of thing. “But I do like a little pain on ‘em. The jolt of it – teeth and the like.”
“Yeah?” Colin scraped Judd’s left nipple with his thumbnail. Judd shuddered. This almost-mate of his was a quick learner. Of course he was.
Judd reminded himself again to teach. “Not all men are like that. Some of us don’t really feel anything. Pain is just painful. Some of us have really sensitive nipples. Can get off on them being licked.”
“Which one am I?” wondered Colin. He’d said he’d done some self-experimentation, but clearly not with nipples.
Judd grinned up at him. “Why don’t we find out?”
Colin swallowed. “You want my shirt off?”
“If you feel comfortable with that.”
“I don’t look like you. All muscled and stuff.”
“Part of the appeal, I promise.” Judd stopped himself from saying that he’d already seen Colin naked. Only once a month or so, but Judd always peeked. He couldn’t help himself. Colin didn’t like spending time in wolf form. He only did it out of necessity on full moon. He always tried to strip and shift fast, hunched to hide his human body. No flexing or strutting about like some werewolves Judd could name… including himself.
“I’ll like it, I promise,” he insisted.
“You like twinky guys?”
Judd accepted that the twink moniker was normal in gay culture these days. But the way Colin said it made him sound ashamed.
“Very much.” Judd purred and arched a little under Colin, reminding him of his ever-hardening arousal.
“Would you prefer it if I were more…” Colin stopped touching Judd and fluttered his hands, mouth twisted in bitterness, “…femme or something?”
Judd didn’t like the self-hatred he saw.
Colin often did that with his hands. He’d start talking with them, graceful and beautiful, then muffle them. Force them to his sides. Stifle himself.
Judd was in a trap. If he said yes, Colin would take that as a criticism that he wasn’t femme enough. If Judd said no, Colin might take that as a criticism, that he was too femme. Or did Colin want permission? Was he seeking approval for a secret need?
Colin’s hands returned to petting over Judd’s chest. The boy’s cock was still hard, but his gaze was intense, yearning for something more than just sex… validation.
Judd took a deep breath, watching as those hands rose and fell, pale and stark against the dark of his own skin. “I’m gonna be blunt, Gingersnap. I don’t want you misconstruing anything about this. About us. I’d like you no matter how you looked or talked or acted. But I can’t deny I’m attracted to the part of you that’s a contrast to me. Twink if you insist. It’s probably my protective enforcer nature. I enjoy how you fit against me, under my chin. I adore the idea of picking you up and tossing you onto my bed. That’s sexy to me.”
“But, how would you think… would you still like me okay if I dressed like Trick? Or Marvin? Would you still wanna sleep with me then?”
Judd stopped himself from grumbling of course. He’d love it if Colin was a bit more femme. His Gingersnap would look hot all gussied up with lip gloss and wearing something silky. But this really wasn’t about what Judd liked, it was about Colin’s desires and identity. “You want to wear makeup, Gingersnap, then you wear makeup. You want color on your nails, do that. You want silk or lace next to your skin, they got whole websites of men’s lingerie now. I think it’s all sexy. Especially on you. You want skirts instead of pants, you do that.”
Judd allowed frustration into his voice. They lived in a time and place where such things were possible. Judd remembered all too well when they were not. Why couldn’t Colin take advantage of the freedom of here and now if he wanted to?
Judd sighed, of course he knew why. Colin was vested in being unnoticed. Colin had diminished every part of himself to remain invisible, even the part that was gay. Especially that part. Could be Colin had always wanted to dress pretty, just never let himself. Not that Colin’s old pack would have allowed it. They would have beat the shit out of him for being a fag for looking like a girl. Judd needed to be kind about Colin’s fear, because to dress that way was to stand out. And Colin hated to