Endure - Sara B. Larson Page 0,13

could barely understand swelled through me, making me feel both weak and strong at once. I threaded a hand through his hair, pushing against him, molding my body to his. He backed me up until I was pressed against the wall. He kissed my jaw, moving down my neck. I couldn’t breathe as his hands kneaded their way up my back, pushing my shirt up higher, exposing my stomach so I could feel the fabric of his tunic against my skin.

And then he suddenly pulled away, stumbling back a step. “Not like this,” he said, his voice hoarse.

I stared at him, gasping for air. With a shake of his head, he turned away and walked over to the fireplace, putting one hand on the mantle and running the other through his hair, his head hanging down.

Shakily, I pushed myself away from the wall and straightened my tunic, my lips stinging from his kiss. I slowly advanced on him until I was close enough to wrap my arms around him from behind. He dropped the hand from his hair to weave his fingers through mine, pressing my arms more firmly against his abdomen.

“I can’t lose you,” he whispered. “I know you only just realized who I am in the last few months. But I’ve loved you for years.”

Tears burned in my eyes as I pressed my face to his back and breathed in his scent.

“I watched you train for hours upon hours upon hours. I watched you with your brother. I saw your courage every minute of every day that you risked discovery protecting me — a spoiled, rotten brat — and your brother. Marcel loved you so much, and I couldn’t help but love you, too. I never thought there would be a chance to tell you that. Much less for you to actually love me in return.”

“Which is why you were so quick to believe me when I told you I didn’t trust you and couldn’t be your queen,” I said quietly, my lips moving against the cloak he still wore over his clothes.

“Yes.” He finally pushed away from the mantle and turned to me, his eyes roaming over my face. “And that’s why I can’t let you go after Rylan.”

The tears I’d been trying to hold back spilled over, slipping down my cheeks. “How did you know?”

He simply said, “Because I know you.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but he rushed on, lifting his hands to brush away my tears and cup my face.

“You’re so brave, and I love that about you. But you’re also reckless. You don’t think about the consequences. How could you go down there to the dungeons to see that man when you knew I didn’t want you to?” The hurt in his eyes lashed at my heart, but I just shook my head.

“Because I had to know. I thought I could get answers out of him.”

“And did you? Did you find out anything? Or did you just give him a target?” I could tell he was struggling not to get angry again.

“He … he called himself Manu de Reich os Deos. He told me about his king and said that there is much more to all of this than we realize. And he made me see … things.”

“What kind of things?”

I just shook my head. If I told him now, he’d burst out in anger again for sure.

Damian’s jaw clenched when I didn’t answer. “He could have killed you then. If he was able to kill a man as huge as the keeper and escape, he could have done the same to you. I don’t know why he didn’t.” Damian shook his head angrily and jerked away from me. “I know that you think you’re helping, but do you have any idea what it would do to me if you died?”

I was silent, trying to swallow back my guilt. When I’d decided to interrogate him, I hadn’t thought there was a chance Manu would be able to hurt me — not until he made me see that horrifying vision in the dungeons. When he’d made me think, for a moment, that he’d killed Damian. He’d told me that I would die, when the time was right, but that his king wasn’t done with me. He’d told me I needed to learn a lesson. But apparently his sudden death sentence had changed things.

“And that’s why I must forbid you from going after Rylan.” Damian moved over to the window, standing by the drapes Eljin