chunk of cantaloupe with her fingers.
“We’ve all been tied in knots so long—I can’t imagine relaxing,” Carmen said.
“Me, either, but it sounds pretty good,” Joanie said. “Do y’all feel like you are flat-out drained?”
“Above and beyond.” As Carmen nodded, her phone rang. She took one look at it and paled. “It’s Eli.”
“We’re not going anywhere.” Joanie propped her feet up on the coffee table.
With shaking hands and a knot in her stomach the size of a watermelon, Carmen answered the phone. “Hello, Eli.”
“Put it on speaker,” Diana whispered.
Carmen hit the right button and laid the phone on the coffee table.
“Good morning, Carmen. Did you sign the papers?” he asked.
“No, and I’m not going to until my lawyer looks over them and I’m absolutely sure that this is the right thing to do. I think we should see a counselor and put this on hold for six months,” she said.
“Things haven’t been right between us for a long time. Counseling isn’t going to help. We need to do this as soon as possible, kind of like ripping off a Band-Aid.” His voice still had that cold edge to it, like the day before.
“Of course things haven’t been good between us. I’ve been busy raising our daughter and trying to get a degree to help out with the finances. You’re gone all the time. We just need some time together to rekindle our love,” she said.
For several seconds there was silence on the other end of the phone. “I fought it for a long time, I really did.”
“Wait. Fought what? You sure weren’t fighting me. I’m not giving up on us, Eli. I love you and always will.” Her heart thumped in her chest, and her pulse was racing as fast as it did after she jogged in the evenings.
“I’m not going to counseling. It’s over. Accept it and sign the papers,” he said.
“You’ll be home for Natalie’s basic-training graduation. Brett told Joanie that the team is coming home then, and I’m not signing anything until we talk face-to-face,” Carmen said.
“Don’t be like this, Carmen,” he said.
“How do you expect me to be? I’ve stayed home and tried my damnedest to be a model army wife. I never cheated on you one time. I raised our daughter, most of the time alone, and now you don’t even have the decency to tell me you’re considering a divorce until after you’ve filed? Come on, Eli, how would you feel if the roles were reversed?”
“I’m being fair. Until the divorce is final, you’ll still get the same amount of money each month,” he said.
“Fair is trying to make this work, not just being sure I can pay the mortgage and electric bill,” she said. “Give us six months. If at the end of that time, you still feel the same, I’ll sign the papers. I’m not speaking to you about this again until my lawyer tells me what all this legal shit means. Goodbye, Eli.”
“Wait a minute,” he yelled. “I’ve only got another few minutes before I have to hang up. Can’t you be reasonable? You don’t need to pay a lawyer. I’ve already done that. Read the papers. You’ll see that I’m not being unfair.”
Carmen looked around at her home, the little brick house that she was so proud of. Did the papers say it would be sold and what equity was in it would be split? Or did they say she could keep the house if she took over the payments? Natalie barely remembered a time when they didn’t live here. This was her home, and what if Carmen couldn’t keep up the mortgage on what she’d make at minimum wage before she got her degree? It would be her fault that Natalie’s home was gone.
“What’s the big hurry? Didn’t you just say that my money for keeping a home for our daughter will keep coming in until the divorce is settled? I’m not rushing anything. I may delay the signing for a year so I can finish my classes and get a job as a teacher.”
Joanie patted her on the back.
Diana gave her the thumbs-up sign.
“Nothing—not a therapist, not even God—is going to change my mind. It’s over. Accept it and move on,” Eli said.
She ended the call, jumped up and ran to the bathroom, leaned over the toilet, and brought up everything she’d drunk and eaten in the last hour. Diana held her hair back while Joanie wet a washcloth with cool water for her face afterward. The taste in