make you cry.”
Shit. I wiped my face.
“Oh.”
I’d never heard him sound so serious before. I froze. The ring. He’d seen the ring.
He laughed even though it sounded forced. “Matt?” he asked and then sighed. He pulled one of his hands out of his pocket and scratched the side of his jaw. “I left to find you a better place to live. I didn’t realize he’d be offering you something too.”
“Can I just start from the beginning?” I couldn’t seem to make my tears stop. I hated hurting people. Especially Felix. All he’d ever done was be nice to me. He’d spoken to me when Matt kept me invisible. He’d freaking flown out of the country to make sure I didn’t have to live with Isabella. And the worst part was that I did love him. I loved Felix Green. I just wasn’t in love with him.
“Let’s run,” he said. “I really feel like a run.”
Okay.
***
I filled him in on everything that happened after he disappeared at homecoming. Isabella’s insanity. Me running around New York in my underwear. Me actually getting close to my dad. Cupcake dating Isabella. Me dating Matt. Me getting engaged to Matt. Isabella’s threatening notes. All of it.
Felix stopped and leaned over to catch his breath. “Fuck.”
I wasn’t sure which thing had upset him. Probably all of it.
“So you’re engaged to Matt?” He was still staring at the ground.
“I’m sorry.”
He laughed and looked up at me. “I get it now. Why you hate the word sorry. Newb, you can’t be sorry if you love him. You can’t be sorry for being happy.”
“Of course I can. If it hurts you.”
He stood up straight and pushed his sweaty hair off his forehead. “I don’t want you to be sorry for being happy. I just want you to be happy.”
I pressed my lips together.
“You are, right? He makes you happy?”
I’m so freaking happy. I nodded.
“Well…good then.”
“Yeah?”
“What else am I supposed to say? You’re wearing his ring, newb. I think I’m pretty much out of the race. I mean…not this one.” He gestured to the track. “You only ever run with me.”
I smiled. I knew he was trying to joke around, trying to make things feel a little more normal between us. But Felix and I had never really been just friends. There had always been a maybe between us. Now that I was engaged, though, there couldn’t be a maybe. But I hoped we could still be friends. “I don’t want this to mean we don’t hang out anymore. I want us to be friends. I still want you to sit with us at lunch and…”
“Is Matt okay with that? Because I don’t really feel like having to beat his ass again.”
I laughed. I probably wouldn’t have worded their fight that way. “He’ll be fine with it. He has to be. You’re one of my best friends, Felix. One of my only friends.”
Felix looked over at Cupcake. “Did he really draw a target on your forehead?”
“I don’t know if it was him. But I’m pretty sure.”
Felix shook his head. “I knew I never should have gone into business with that asshole.”
I bit the inside of my lip. He had gotten into business with Cupcake because of me. Another thing to add to the ever-growing list of things I’d messed up.
“Felix, I’m so…”
“It’s fine, newb. It’s better that I’m out of distribution. Hell, I think I’m done with the whole thing. I might just sell Cupcake my client list. I don’t want to be my parents. I had to fly halfway across the world for them to even talk to me. They’re dicks. I don’t want to be anything like them.”
“Really?” I couldn’t help but be excited. Felix was too good for that business. “You’re going to stop selling altogether?”
He laughed. “A very smart girl once told me that I’m better than that.”
“You are better than that.”
He looked back over at Cupcake. “Besides, I don’t want to work with someone like him. I talked to him about what happened with Kennedy. He swears it went down differently than…”
“Kennedy wasn’t lying.”
He winced. “I didn’t say she was. I believe you. I believe her. But he…” He shook his head. “Kennedy should talk to someone about what happened. Cupcake isn’t going to listen to me. And he should pay for what he did to her.”
“She doesn’t want anyone else to know.”
“Maybe I could talk to her?”
“No. I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone. I shouldn’t have even told you. Please don’t say anything.”
“But someone