a big way. We weren’t that cruel. We didn’t want the losses or want to kill our troops for one fucking hit. We wanted to throw the uppercut and have Bilé feel it without sacrificing thousands of our warriors’ lives to manage it.
“I warded the tower,” I whispered to the wind.
“The queen isn’t healing,” Ryder said, turning to look at where my face continued to bleed. “Call for Eliran,” he growled, causing everyone around us to pause and peer in our direction at the mention of Eliran’s name. “Fetch a healer, now,” he commanded, pulling me over onto his lap, uncaring who saw the act of affection.
“They’re watching us,” I mumbled, my throat bobbing with emotion as the sting of regret and grief tore through me.
“I don’t give a shit who the fuck is watching us, woman. Why aren’t you healing?” Ryder’s hand lifted, curving against my cheek as he took in the injury from Bilé’s blade.
“Because I was attacked by a god defending Olivia’s corpse,” I whispered, barely audible to my own ears.
“You didn’t call for me, why?” he demanded.
“I couldn’t.” I lowered my head and worried my hands in my lap as I went over the security procedures. “I warded the tower against the gods to protect everyone inside. I warded it against myself, and yet Bilé got through. How the fuck am I going to protect us if I can’t ward against him?” I looked up into Ryder’s eyes as a tear rolled down my cheek. “I lost so many people, and yet I never even thought about him being able to get past the wards. I underestimated him, and we paid for it greatly.”
Someone stood in front of us, and Ryder growled, causing the guy to jump. Ryder stared at the male, watching him before he dropped his eyes to the bag the man held.
“I’m guessing she needs sutures, My King.”
“And you are?” Ryder snapped.
“Finley, I was Eliran’s understudy,” he admitted sadly, wiping away the tears that rolled down his cheek, uncaring of who saw his grief.
“Fuck off,” Ryder growled.
“With all due respect, her face is badly wounded. If you don’t want it to scar, please let me assist My Queen in her hour of need. It will be an honor to help her after she fought so bravely to protect us.”
“I lost, in case you failed to notice,” I whispered, wiping away tears of anger.
“You lost a few, but imagine if they’d gotten inside. We’d all be dead, My Queen. You may have lost some people, but you saved so many more. Eliran knew he could fall, and he trained me in the event that it happened. Please, let me help you.”
I expelled a breath and returned to my chair, turning my face to allow Finley to apply sutures. He opened his kit and started working as I stared out over the dead, glaring where Thanatos stood in the shadows, watching me silently. Thanatos didn’t look as if he enjoyed his job, and yet he did it all the same.
Someone moved through the crowd of people who gathered around us, and I paused, sitting up to see Fyra. She moved toward me, stopping to nod her head as she took in the damage to my face. I smiled sadly, watching her through tears that fell freely as relief washed over me. Of course, she’d survived. Who else would have been crazy enough to fly at the castle to save the little dragon prince?
Ryder’s hand reached for mine, and I lifted my eyes to his as he smiled tightly, even though it didn’t reach his eyes.
“We’re going to be okay, aren’t we?”
“I don’t know,” he replied, unable to lie. “Not today. Today we will mourn our losses and celebrate their lives, and tomorrow we will prepare for war. You fought against insurmountable odds and won. You fought bravely in the face of loss and uncertainty while showing no fear to our enemies. I murdered thousands of mages, and that, too, is a