Embrace the Darkness (The Maura Quinn Series Book 1) - Ashley N. Rostek Page 0,48
me,” he said. I patted the bed next to me with my hand, gesturing for him to lie down. He hesitated at first, then toed off his shoes and pulled his gun from the back of his pants. He slid it under his pillow before he lay down next to me.
Staring up at the ceiling, everything that happened that day started to replay in my mind.
“Don’t think. Just close your eyes, Maura.”
Letting out a heavy sigh, I did as he said, and I drifted off almost instantly.
“Maura, wake up.”
I startled awake and almost jumped out of my skin when I saw a blurry figure hovering above me.
“Shh, it’s okay. It’s just me.”
I blinked a few times and Jamie’s face came into focus. His hand cupped my face and he wiped my cheek with his thumb. “You were crying.”
I quickly wiped at my face. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You were saying some weird shit.”
I tensed. “Oh?” I didn’t want to talk about my dreams, ever. Internally, I prayed he wouldn’t ask.
“How are you feeling?”
Relieved, I relaxed. “Sore. Starving. I don’t think I ate today. How long was I out?”
“About six hours. It’s dinner time. Think you might be up to going downstairs or do you want to eat up here?”
“I’m not ready to face the world yet.”
“By world, do you mean Stefan?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
“We could watch a movie while we eat. I’ll let you pick,” I said, deflecting.
He sighed and rolled over to pick up the phone on my nightstand. He only hit one button, which I assumed was the pre-programmed number for the kitchen. Someone picked up and he told whoever it was, likely Jeana, that we’d like dinner brought up to my room. The food arrived shortly after he hung up. It was Italian and smelled delicious. We ate on the couch as we watched TV.
“You’re the only one Stefan allows to get away with shit. He’d never let anyone else avoid him because we weren’t ready to talk. One time, he sent me to some dude’s hospital room, demanding to know what happened. The guy had just gotten out of surgery after being shot in the chest.”
“He’ll interrogate me when he finds time to check on me,” I argued, sounding bitter. The last time I got hurt like this, five days had passed before he'd come to check on me and that time I had been raped. This time I wasn’t going to hold my breath.
“He came to check on you an hour after you fell asleep,” he said. He must have seen my surprise because he gave me a tight smile. “He’s trying.”
I nodded, agreeing.
“He tried not to show it, but he was worried about you. You scared the shit out of us. You’ve never acted like that after…”
After killing someone.
I placed my fork down on my plate before setting the plate on the coffee table. “I’m surprised you aren’t mad at me.”
Jamie narrowed his eyes, perplexed. “Why would I be mad at you?”
“Because I killed him. I provoked him.”
“He put his hands on you,” he said as if that made it okay.
My stomach churned with guilt. “He didn’t know who I was.”
He shook his head. “You know that doesn’t matter. Don’t forget who you are—who we are,” he said, eyes boring into mine. “Stefan would have made him suffer before he killed him to set an example.”
I picked at the bottom of my shirt as I thought out how to say what I needed to say next. Jamie deserved to know, and I needed to talk about it. I took a deep breath and I just blurted it out. “I liked it. Killing him.”
He stayed quiet, being patient, sensing I had more to say.
“It was so easy, pulling the trigger. Too easy. It was a rush, like that first high from a new drug or an orgasm. It was satisfying but left me wanting more.” I kneaded the back of my neck with my fingers, trying to ease the tension and help stop the heat making its way up to my cheeks. I just compared killing people to orgasming. I dropped my eyes and went back to fiddling with the hem of my shirt again. “Feeling all that felt wrong, or it should. Zack, Tyson, Tom, Tina, they all hurt me, deeply. In my mind, I figured killing them was a kind of twisted form of self-defense and therefore justified. Today, though, all