mind and body be one.
But today, as Marc’s hands were hungrily roaming her body, her mind started to wander to Jack Campbell. She thwarted it by purposefully opening her eyes and looking at Marc, watching his hands ride up the side of her torso; his lips trace her navel and come up between her breasts. But when she closed her eyes again, she pictured Jack’s lips and Jack’s touch. She remembered the C-O-C-O-N-U-T advice from the bulletin board and tried it out. The distraction was only temporary, within minutes she was back to picturing Jack, and with his image her desire grew exponentially. It felt too good not to continue, and so, for the first time that she could remember, Alison combined sex with fantasy. It was only when she realized it had never felt that good before that it concerned her.
As they lay spent next to each other, Marc noticed that she wasn’t all there.
“Was that good for you?” he asked.
“Very,” she responded, hiding her concern.
Over lasagna, the awkwardness between them that was never found in the bedroom or in the courtroom crept back in. Alison wondered whether they were trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. As if reading her mind, Marc came right out and addressed it.
“Look, Alison, I know what I’m proposing is not some great romantic love story, but I think I know you pretty well, and I think you’re just as pragmatic as I am.”
She hoped that he was still right. It really bothered her that she had been thinking about Jack during sex. It was as if having a baby had weakened her constitution, cracked it, like the Leonard Cohen lyrics, allowing the light in.
“Let’s just take it one day at a time.”
“How about two days at a time? Can you join me with the baby at my press conference announcing my candidacy?”
“Of course,” she said, adding with real honesty, “I’m looking forward to it.”
CHAPTER 39
Amanda
Mandy dragged Pippa with her to the Stop & Shop with a huge list from Eliza for Thanksgiving. She’d given Eliza a bit of a hard time about it, as she felt like she was getting worse and she wasn’t doing anything to help herself. The list of local therapists that Mandy had put together had remained uncalled; the self-help books she had taken out of the library for her, untouched. She was happy to help, but hated enabling her, even if this was a lot easier for her than baking a pie.
As she contemplated the difference between yams and sweet potatoes (Eliza had asked for the latter), she spotted Dean Barr out of the corner of her eye. There was something about seeing him in this conventional environment that broke the spell. She laughed at herself for thinking about him in those adolescent terms, like he was still her teacher and ate all his meals in the school cafeteria. Every risqué encounter thus far had been in the high school or the parking lot.
It was an odd thing; obviously as two adults they could “get a room.” She imagined that Dean had a room or two of his own to spare. She knew this cat and mouse game they were playing would either fizzle out or lead that way. She wasn’t sure which direction she wanted it to go.
Pippa flew by her like a whirling dervish, bringing her back to the Stop & Shop.
“Look, it’s Mr. Barr!”
She wanted to stop Pippa in her tracks and avoid having what was sure to be an awkward encounter in front of her daughter, but how would she explain her reaction? She followed Pippa to the butcher’s counter just in time to hear Mr. Barr’s heartbreaking order.
“Hello, what’s the smallest size turkey you have? It’s just me, but I’m good with leftovers.”
Pippa looked up at her mother as if a puppy was about to be put down.
“It’s not our place to invite more people to Aunt Eliza’s,” she whispered. Pippa gave her the death stare. Amanda gave in.
“Hi, Mr. Barr.”
He blushed. She wasn’t sure if the source of his embarrassment was his turkey-for-one request, or a reaction to seeing Amanda with her daughter in public.
“Hi, I, um, usually go out of town to my sister’s for the holiday, but with the play this weekend . . .”
It was the turkey.
Pippa doubled down on her stare. Amanda reacted.
“We are spending the holiday at our neighbors’. She loves a big crowd, if you would like to come.”
“That’s so nice, but