by an outdated feudal system, and it’s my duty as a collectivist anarchist to fight for their right to have control of their own destiny.”
“Well, obviously,” Calarian huffed, “but that’s only the idea of people and their rights and freedoms as a nebulous concept. You don’t like any actual, real people.”
“I do so! I happen to like...” He did a quick count in his head. “Or at least tolerate four humans.”
“Oooh! Who?” Calarian chewed his bottom lip. “Um, well obviously Loth and Quinn.”
Benji snorted. “No. Don’t be stupid. I hate Loth and Quinn.”
“But they like you.”
“That’s because I’m amazing.” Benji shrugged. “But I don’t like them. I just hang around them so I can destroy the system from within.”
“Ser Greylord?” Calarian ventured.
Benji wrinkled his nose. “Who?”
“Lars, then,” Calarian said. “Everyone loves Lars.”
“Nope.” Benji grinned. “This is a fun game. I’m not sure what it’s called, but I’m winning, aren’t I?”
Calarian rolled his eyes. “You’re lying. You don’t like four humans at all.”
“I do!” Benji licked icing off his fingertips. “I like Loth’s mum and dad, and I like Gretchen and Hannah. They’re my new friends,” he added before Calarian could ask. “That’s four humans. Which happens to be plenty, thank you. My liking humans meter is completely full. One of those four is going to have to die before I can like any more humans. Is that what you want, Calarian? Do you want Loth’s mum to die?”
“What? No!” Calarian looked startled.
“Well, shut up about Lars then.” Benji folded his arms over his chest smugly.
Calarian tilted his head, the sunlight catching his mahogany locks and making him look unfairly attractive. “Listen, the sooner we can sort out this mountain troll problem, the sooner we can both go back to Callier. And things would go much more quickly if you helped!”
“Not my duke,” Benji said. “Not my quest. Not my problem.”
“We wouldn’t even be in this situation if you hadn’t...” Calarian trailed off into a growl.
“Killed the old duke?” Benji asked curiously.
“Keep your voice down!” Calarian glared, and then huffed. He flicked his hair over his shoulder. He opened his mouth to say something else, but at that moment the distant blast of a horn sounded in the air.
“What was that?” Benji asked.
“That was from the tower!” Calarian exclaimed. “From the lookout I posted there! It means there’s another mountain troll, and it’s on the way now!” His eyes widened. “And we’re not ready for it yet!”
He dashed off, looking frenzied.
“’kay,” Benji said to the empty space he left behind. “Good luck. Have fun. Whatever.”
A sour face peered around the doorway. Ugh. Gunther.
“Don’t you have a fountain to worry about?” Benji asked him, and Gunther melted away again like a toxic fog.
And then Benji dug into his basket of gingerbread treats and proceeded, very thoroughly, to give absolutely no fucks at all.
Chapter Five
The tower of Tournel Castle, where Duke Klaus had met his unfortunate end, had an impressive view of both the mountains outside the town, and the town itself. Calarian used his sharp elvish eyesight to pick out the landmarks in the town: the bakery, the church, the crooked post that every dog had to stop and piss on, and the town square with its pond and the ugly fountain that had been the source of so much conflict with Gunther over the past few days.
Calarian shook his head and huffed out an unhappy breath. The road through Tournel led right to the pond, and the workmen hadn’t had time to grade the road inside the town yet in order to encourage a dumb mountain troll to follow the curve and go around.
Calarian turned and looked toward the mountains. A small cloud of dust that was growing rapidly larger every passing moment heralded the approach of the latest mountain troll as it came barrelling down the hill. It was distant now, but with the speed it was approaching it would reach Tournel in minutes. And Tournel, Calarian feared, wasn’t ready for it. Oh, they’d made a decent start to be sure, opening the wall at both ends of the path, but with Gunther stonewalling them over the stupid fountain this wasn’t going to end well, and Calarian truly feared that Gunther would use it as an excuse to make Lars look incompetent.
As the dust cloud grew rapidly closer, Calarian bolted down the steps of the tower and headed into the centre of town, hopefully to aid in averting a disaster. At least the townspeople knew to clear the path at