fine last night. You’re not allowed to pine for me? Fine.” I bend my neck and press a gentle kiss to her plump lips. “You don’t have to pine. I’m right here.”
“William…”
“You were mine first, Olivia. And you can’t fucking deny it. Now, you’re so set on following the rules, that you’re blind to the fact you have free will. You can do whatever the fuck you want. You are a grown-ass woman, you’re not married, you have no children or responsibilities that rely on your stable relationship with Pierce.”
“That’s what you think,” she whimpers. “I can’t do this. I just…” She drops her gaze and looks down between us. “I made a promise to a man, and unlike you, I take promises seriously. They’re not just words to me. They’re not fake platitudes or suggestions. Promises, to me, are sacred. Which means today, I’m dealing with the guilt for what I did last night – the guilt I feel for betraying Brenten – but worse, so much worse, is the guilt I feel for who I allowed myself to become.” She brings her gaze up and meets my eyes. “I broke a promise to myself… which means I’m disappointed in myself.”
When I say nothing – because what is there to say? – Olivia shakes her head and turns out of my hands to grab the fabric pooled on the timber deck. Searching through the pile, she finds the ends, bunched white rope, and lays the end on her chair. Then she climbs up again and works one of the O-rings through the pilot hole she just drilled.
“You can leave, William. We’ve already established that you have no reason to worry or be sorry for what we did. You’re just a guy who hooked up with a girl. Congratulations, job well done, and… whatever else one says after a one-night stand. You can go, and you don’t ever have to feel bad for what happened. I, on the other hand,” she pushes the long screw through the hole, and secures the nut on the other side. “I have to work through my own stuff, starting and ending with why I felt the need to cheat – on my boyfriend, and on myself. That’s a flaw that I need to work through, then I need to ask Brenten for his forgiveness, because he didn’t deserve that betrayal.”
“You understand Brenten is a fucking sissy, right? If he loved you, he would take care of you. if he wanted you the way you’re trying to convince me you want him, there’s no chance in hell you’d, one, be able to kiss a guy at a club when Pierce was just thirty feet away, and two, fuck that same guy and get away without him realizing. Add in the fact that I’m here again, in your fucking apartment, and he’s none the wiser – despite the fact I didn’t hide coming in here – tells me your man thinks of you as a pretty ornament and nothing more.”
“Well, that felt good to hear.” Olivia climbs down again and grabs a length of cotton rope. Climbing onto the chair, she feeds an end through the O-ring, and then down to the fabric ends. “To hear about how unwanted and unnoticeable I am… sure is good for my ego.” She looks down and meets my eyes for a fast second. “I appreciate your kind words.”
“I didn’t say you’re unwanted or unnoticeable,” I huff. “I haven’t made a secret of how much I want you, Olivia. And I can’t seem to not notice you. I said he doesn’t want you. Not really. Maybe he says he does, and maybe he whines enough to make you feel indebted to him, but in his eyes, you’re to be seen, not heard.”
“Yeah, because you listen when I speak.”
“I always listen! I hear you, I just don’t always do what you tell me to do. Free will and all; it’s not just for the women.”
“Charming.” She finishes tying her rope with a roll of her eyes, then she climbs down, repositions her chair, and starts again about seven feet to the left of where she began. Drill in hand, sawdust sprinkling down over her face, she works the steel bit through the wood and creates another weakness for the structure above. “Go away, William.”
“What the hell are you doing?” I move to her, and grab her hips all over again. We’re closer to the edge, and three stories below, there’s nothing