I smiled. “Well, everything you said was true. And I needed to hear it. All of it. I’m going to go back to physical therapy and I’m going to go see someone about the other stuff.” It was hard for me to even say the word, but I figured that meant that I needed to say it. “The depression. And I told Hud today that I’d be back next month and anytime he needed me. I would love to say that my days of being a selfish asshole are behind me, but I can’t promise that. What I can promise is that I’m going to do my best not to let that happen.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll let you know if you start slipping.”
“Does that mean you forgive me?”
“Yes.” She nodded.
“Good.” I breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn’t really been scared that she would say no. I knew that she didn’t hold grudges, but it still felt good to hear it. “You’re my best friend and I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Friends.” She said, looking down at her wine glass. “Is that what we are?”
“Is that what you want us to be?”
Her eyes lifted to mine. “What do you want?”
As I stared at her my chest constricted, my palms dampened, and my heart raced. “You. I want you. All of you. I want to be with you. I want you to be mine. I want—”
I didn’t get to finish my thought because Olivia had moved across the couch with the grace and speed of a panther pouncing on her prey. The next thing I knew we were kissing, and our clothes were coming off. Desperation unlike any I’d ever felt before crashed over me. I needed to feel her skin against mine. I needed to be inside of her. And I think she must’ve felt the same because it was a flurry of kissing and stripping each other. I pulled off her shirt and she worked on my jeans. I tugged her shorts down and she lifted my shirt up and off.
When we were both naked, I laid her down on her back and moved between her legs. Her pebbled nipples grazed my chest as I hovered above her. The smooth, silkiness of her inner thighs brushed against my hips. She gripped my shoulders and the pressure of her fingertips dug into my flesh.
Then, just as suddenly as everything started the atmosphere changed. The energy between us shifted gears. Everything went from fast forward to slow motion. The frenzied pace of our coupling became controlled and measured as I pushed inside of her. Her hazel eyes stared up at me through thick lashes as her inner walls tightened around me.
All the feelings that I’d tried to ignore, suppress, and deny for twenty plus years overwhelmed me. I knew that it might not be the best time to tell her how I felt, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was bursting to reveal the feelings I’d kept a hidden secret for two decades. She was the only woman I’d ever loved, and I knew, in that moment, the only woman I would ever love. I’d wasted enough time, I couldn’t wait one more minute, one more second to say those three little words.
Chapter 30
Olivia
“Enjoy life now. It’s not a rehearsal.”
~ Maggie Calhoun
Holden’s expression grew serious as he stared down at me. He was looking at me like he was seeing me for the first time. Slowly, he lowered down until our lips were barely touching.
“I love you,” he whispered against my lips before crushing them to mine.
A much cooler person would have kissed him back, but I was not that person.
My eyes flew open. “What?”
I could feel him smile against my lips and saw the evidence of his grin as he rose up resting on his elbows. “I love you.”
A lump formed in my throat and I was barely able to breathe. I’d imagined this moment for so many years. There were times when we were hooking up that I thought that he might say it. But he never did. And then we were over. I’d always been a glass half full girl, but I’d pretty much lost all hope.
“Can you say it again?”
“I love you.” He kissed the tip of my nose.
“Again,” I whispered.
He bent down and kissed my forehead. “I love you.” He continued kissing me on my right then left cheek, jaw, chin, and neck declaring his