large the animal is, they will respect you and meet you at your energy.
We talked about how animals sense fear and anxiety in people and they don’t understand that it’s them that you’re scared of. All they know is that there is a threat. That can send an animal into a panicked state. I told them about how Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer, teaches having calm and assertive energy. He says that he has the same energy whether he’s working with a Chihuahua or a pit bull. Size doesn’t matter, only energy. In the rodeo, we called it having the dominant mind, but it was basically being calm-assertive. If your energy is telling them to be calm, then they will be.
I wished that same philosophy would work on the beast in my pants. But five minutes later when Olivia came downstairs, I was still at half-mast. I looked up and watched her walk into the kitchen. Her hair was piled on top of her head and she was wearing her favorite oversized white V-neck shirt and flannel shorts. It was the same thing she’d been wearing our first time together. I would’ve thought that it was a sign, except those were her favorite pajamas and she wore them most nights.
Without running it by my brain my eyes zeroed in on her nipples, which were hard beneath the loose T-shirt she wore, and the damp tendrils of hair that were curling up at the base of her neck. My dick, who still wasn’t convinced that those weren’t go signs, grew to three-quarter chub.
Olivia must have noticed my body’s response because as she took the glass of wine from me, she stared down at my crotch and said, “Don’t get excited. I only rinsed off because the ranch was so dusty.”
My head fell back, and I cracked up. Olivia was the definition of a total sweetheart. It wasn’t for show, it was who she truly was. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t call me out on my shit. Case in point, today in the car. As brutal as that had been to hear, it was exactly what I’d needed, and I loved her for saying it. I loved her. Period.
She grinned and walked into the front room. I followed behind her and did my best not to watch the sway of her hips or the curve of her upper thighs as they disappeared into her shorts. But my eyes seemed to have a mind of their own.
By the time she sank into the corner of her L shaped couch, I was rocking a full-blown hard-on and there was nothing I could do about it. Olivia had that effect on me. I adjusted myself before sitting down on the other side of the sofa, making sure we had plenty of space between us.
I needed as much distance as possible if I had any hope of keeping my mind clear enough to have the conversation we desperately needed to have.
She took a sip of wine. “So, what’s up?”
I smiled; that one was too easy.
“Besides that.” She motioned to my lap with her glass.
I took a deep breath and noticed that my palms were damp. Although that happened a lot when Olivia was around, I knew this time it was different. This time it was because I was nervous about what I needed to say. There was a reason that my mom had teased me about being an island unto myself growing up, I didn’t typically open up to people.
But this wasn’t people. This was Olivia.
“First, I want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry about how I treated you at the surprise party. You didn’t deserve that. I was an asshole and there’s no excuse for the way I acted. But it was the main reason that I’ve been staying away from people so that I wouldn’t expose them to the miserable prick I am. But I’m sorry that I went AWOL.
“And thank you for today.” I wished there were other words in the dictionary, better words, more accurate representations of the gratitude I felt for her. Thank you, just didn’t’ seem like enough. “Thank you for cleaning my house and for kidnapping me,” I teased.
She smiled.
“Thank you for the breakfast burrito, the coffee, the back warmer, the ranch, and the talk. I know that you don’t like confrontation and so that couldn’t have been easy for you.”
“It was actually easier than I thought it would be.” The edges of her mouth curled up in