the warehouse had been to get as far away from Mira and the Order as he could. It would’ve been better for everyone if he had. All the more so, given where he stood now. But the simple fact was, he hadn’t been able to leave. She had a hold on him that he hadn’t been able to break.
He’d told himself he would be careful, that there was no harm in staying close to where she was so long as he ensured their paths never crossed. But if he’d had any honor in him, he would have fled as far as possible, as soon as he’d been given the chance.
Mira’s pace slowed beside him, then stopped as she pivoted to face him. “What happened to you inside that warehouse, Kellan?”
He grunted, gave a vague shake of his head. “Does it matter now?”
“It matters to me. I want to know.” Her lips pressed together and she gave him an arch look. “Come on. You’re going to scrub my memory anyway, so it’s not like I’ll remember anything you say or do here tonight. If you’ve got a conscience anymore, this is your perfect chance to clear it—when you know I will only hate you for a few more minutes before you take even that truth away from me.”
It was an accusation, one that scathed him more than he wanted to admit. “I have to do this, Mira. It’ll be better for everyone this way.”
“Definitely better for you, at any rate.” Bitter, angry words. She was hurting deeply, understandably so. But it was the sudden downward tilt of her head—the move that wasn’t quite fast enough to hide the moist glint of her eyes—that undid him the most.
“You’re right,” he murmured. “I do owe you that.”
“You owe me the truth,” she insisted tightly, her pale eyes bright now, nearly dry when she looked up at him again.
She wouldn’t allow herself to break in front of him. He could see that in her diamond-sharp gaze. She wouldn’t give him that soft part of her. After tonight, never again.
When she spoke, her voice was schooled and level, a soldier recounting facts after battle. “I’ve seen your death a thousand times in my mind since that night. You were ahead of Nathan and me and the rest of our team, all of us on foot by then, fanned out and patrolling the riverfront after reports of rebel movement down at the industrial park. You radioed that you were in pursuit of several suspects, gave us your location and where you were heading. Nathan and I were closest to the area by then, so we joined up and proceeded in your direction to provide backup. We arrived just in time to see you disappear into the warehouse. Not even two seconds later, the explosion went off.”
Kellan nodded, recalling the night as clearly as she did. But this was the point where their two accounts differed. “The rebel led me to that building. I didn’t realize why until I was inside and smelled the taggant of live explosives somewhere nearby. It was a trap, Mira. I knew you and Nathan were right behind me. I couldn’t risk that you’d be anywhere near the place when it blew.”
“But you were,” she said, her blond brows knit as she tried to put the pieces together in her mind. “You were inside the warehouse when it exploded.”
“I was,” he said. “But only long enough to spoil the trap. I flashed to where the C-4 and detonator had been planted. It was wired to the walls, no chance of ripping it out and disposing of it, certainly not without setting the whole thing off. So I killed it. Shot the whole thing up.”
Mira gaped at him. “You detonated it while you were still inside? You would’ve had less than seconds to escape the blast once the charges blew.”
He nodded again. “I didn’t even know if I would make it out in one piece. But if it meant preventing you and anyone else from my team from getting hurt in the blast, it was worth the risk. As it happened, the bomb went off just as I was clearing the back door of the place. I remember feeling the percussion throw me airborne. I could smell the smoke and my own burned flesh. I felt my broken bones shatter even more as I hit the cold surface of the Mystic and sank into the murky water. After that, I suppose I lost