Echoes Between Us - McGarry, Katie Page 0,64
both of us breathing hard as if we’ve run a marathon. My exhaustion takes on a whole new level and consumes me. I rub my eyes and then my temples as I try to fight off the pounding now overtaking my brain. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
Leo’s posture deflates. “I don’t want to fight with you, either. That’s not why I came to see you.”
There’s a few more beats of silence as I continue to rub my head.
“I’m sorry, V,” Leo says like he’s torn up. But here’s the thing—I’m torn up, too. So much so that I swear bruises are forming all over my body. “I don’t know why I’m so angry.”
“Then can you cool off about Sawyer?” I say. “He’s my partner for the year. That’s not going to change. I hear everything you’re saying about him. I’m not stupid. I know who he is and who his friends are and I’m well aware of the risks I’m taking. But I’m also telling you I’m a smart girl who can handle this situation. How about a little trust?”
“I know what I saw,” Leo says. “You were going to kiss him, and he’s not the kind of guy you need to be kissing.”
Sawyer was warm and solid and with him I felt good and I felt happy. Sawyer’s easy to talk to, easy to laugh with, making it easy to forget that there’s a ticking time bomb in my head. His hands were hot on my skin and I welcomed each and every touch, and I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to be kissed. I wanted to bask in the feeling I have with him—feeling alive.
But then I saw Leo and I remembered … I’m supposed to be in love with him.
“He doesn’t care for you,” Leo says.
How many times did I wish Leo would be here beside me? But instead of making me feel alive and happy, he’s making me feel guilty and unlovable. “Maybe he does care for me.”
“Not like you deserve. He’s chasing after you because you’re fun, exciting and different. Living in the world he has, he’s been told what to do and what line to follow his entire life. Meeting someone like you is like seeing the sunrise for the first time.”
Leo swears under his breath as he lowers his head. “He’s not going to treat you right. He’s going to hurt you, and I don’t want that for you. That’s what guys like him do. Once his hands get slapped for stepping out of line, he’ll hurt you in order to appease the people in his life.”
His words cut me so deep that I feel as if I’m bleeding from my chest. “Why are you saying this?”
“Because I care for you. It takes a strong person to be with you and he’s not strong enough.”
Leo’s type of care is causing my eyes to burn with tears. “Maybe he is strong enough to be with me.”
His sharp glare flickers to my head, and I’m sick. I’ve seen that look thousands of times over the years. My brain tumor. Leo doesn’t think anyone will ever be strong enough to love me past the tumor.
“Oh,” I say so softly that it is barely audible, and I hate how Leo’s shoulders relax as if he’s relieved. Like it was a burden for him that I wasn’t catching on to what he was trying to say. A part of me wants to ask him if it’s just Sawyer I should avoid or love altogether, but I don’t. Hearing his answer might very well crush me.
“Listen … V. The reason I came home this weekend is because I can’t come home next weekend.”
My forehead furrows. “But that’s when I’m planning Thanksgiving dinner.”
“I know.”
“You’ve never missed Thanksgiving dinner.”
“I know,” he says again. “But there’s something real important I need to do next weekend.”
“And this is important to me. I scheduled it for next weekend because you said that date worked best for you.”
“I know.”
“You promised.”
“I know.”
“Are we even friends anymore?”
His cell pings then. A text.
Leo stares at me, I stare at him. I will him not to check his phone. In fact, every cell inside me is reaching out and begging him to ignore whoever it is that’s trying to reach him and answer me.
His phone rings. A ringtone I’m unfamiliar with and when Leo digs out his cell I catch sight of a picture of a girl. A beautiful girl, and a lump forms in my