Earth Fathers Are Weird (Earth Fathers #1) - Lyn Gala Page 0,66
the idea that the planet probably thought they had been invaded by an enemy armada. His parents would have mourned him and now lived in fear that the invaders could return any time. He didn't want humans to live in fear. People deserved to know that they were in the boring end of the universe and no one would bother with them. But did he want to be the person who lived on Earth all the time? That wasn’t even a close call. “I am a horrible person for not wanting to go home.”
“Query. Clarify horrible. Query. Do humans required a return to birth place?” Rick pressed close.
“You mean, are we like salmon?” Max asked. He had an image of a fish with a man’s head. Or maybe that should be a man with a fish head. “Clarify. Humans are not required to return. However, good humans care about their home and do want to go home. I do not want to go home. Conclusion. I am horrible.”
Rick was silent for a time, and Max stewed in his own guilt. He had lied to Rick because he was required to go home. The Code of Conduct required him to escape as soon as possible and return to the nearest American military facility. When he’d taken this job, that’s what he had been trying to do. Only now he found that three weeks was far too soon for him to return.
“The people do not return to the place of birthing. We move with waves. On and forward and on,” Rick said. “When Kohei and James and Xander grow large enough, they will leave and not return.”
“I hate that idea,” Max said.
“I am in agreement,” Rick said. “I am happy the offspring will require several years of tending before offspring have skills to earn compensation other places.”
Anger caught Max like a knife under his ribs. Rick got years; Max got three weeks.
Rick shifted closer until his tentacles spilled over Max’s thigh and his stupid, floppy hat hit the side of Max’s head. “Query. Is human fathering an imperative, motivating you to stay with offspring?”
“That's part of it,” Max admitted. “I know they’re cognitively mature, but they're so small, and they don't understand how shitty people can be.” Although they had gotten an unfortunate crash course during the invasion.
“Clarify. Query. Do not all creatures produce excrement?”
Max's brain was locked in first gear, because it took him a second to connect excrement to shittiness. Rick’s literalness would have made him a great foil on some sitcom. “Clarify. Shitty means horrible and undesirable. It implies a person's actions are as disagreeable as fresh excrement in plain sight.”
“That is wonderfully descriptive.” Rick’s tentacles shimmied. “Shitty. I approve.”
Despite his foul mood, Rick’s delight made Max smile. “I'm glad you like my profanity.”
“I like much of you Max, although Earth fathers are weird.”
“It is not weird to protect offspring.”
“No.” Rick leaned against Max. “I came to this space because I too wish to protect offspring. But protecting offspring is genetic for the people. Human fathers attach genetic imperatives to emotional connections.” Rick hesitated before adding, “I like weird.”
“Then you'd love Earth,” Max said dryly.
“Earth quiet. I can camouflage offspring on Earth. Max can protect offspring.”
Horror stole all Max’s words for a moment before he shouted. “What? No!”
Rick jerked all his tentacles away.
“You can’t come to Earth. People are so quick to judge.” Max burst up and made it to the door before he whirled back around. “You have to promise you will never take the boys to Earth. People hate each other for having the wrong skin color or being born on the wrong continent or for believing something different about supernatural beings that can’t be proven to exist at all. If you come in with your tentacles and your... tentacles. No. You have to stay away.” Max ran out of air, but the panic still raged through his guts.
Rick slid off the bed and approached slowly. “Query. Clarify. Humans’ feelings toward the people.”
Fuck. Max hadn’t wanted to get into any of his planet’s irrational responses. However, if he had to out the assholish nature of humans to protect Rick and the boys, he would. “Humans fear. A lot. Before the ships came to Earth, my people believed they were alone. Maybe they hoped they were alone. But now... I don’t know how they have reacted since I left, but I know you will never be safe there.”
“I am not warrior. Human planet one of warriors. I will