argument right
before we came down tonight,” Miriam said. “About
something bad Miss Amanda did.”
She didn’t like to think what it might have been, for
both the earl and the countess to be so enraged.
“Look, Lord Spenford is about to dance the waltz
with her ladyship.” Tom pointed.
Miriam watched as the countess smiled up at the earl.
“Lady Spenford is very fond of Lord Spenford,” she
said.
“She never told you that,” Tom scoffed.
“I can see it in the way she looks at him. The way her
voice goes soft when she talks about him.” Tom
grunted.
“Do you think the earl cares for her?” Miriam asked.
“I know he’s not the type to wear his heart on his
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sleeve.”
Silence. At last, Tom said, “A man shows his feelings
in actions.”
“How do you mean?”
“If he does things for her without being asked—
things that will please her. If he seeks her company.”
Miriam thought about how Tom had gone to the
trouble of scouring the attic for her for those Indian
jewels and fabrics. She wouldn’t say he sought her
company…but he was the one who said everyone took
note when she entered a room. Which they didn’t—
she’d been checking—so he had to mean that he took
note.
“What else?” she asked, softly, so as not to scare him.
It was like sneaking up on a rabbit, the way she and her
sister had done when they were children, just wanting to
pet it.
“If…if he does things that go against his nature,”
Tom said, his face flushed. “Just to be the man she
wants.”
“Have you ever done that for a woman?” Miriam
asked. Have you ever done that for me?
He said, very quietly, “I praised her ladyship to his
lordship.” As he’d promised Miriam he would.
“Was that so against your nature?” Miriam asked,
startled.
Tom shoved his hands in his pockets. “I was
presuming on the friendship I used to have with his
lordship. I knew he wouldn’t like it, but…”
“But you did it anyway.”
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He nodded.
“You did it—” she swallowed “—for me.”
A hesitation. Then he nodded again.
Was he saying he loved her? If so, he didn’t look
happy about it.
“I always knew, deep down, he and I wouldn’t be
friends forever, not the way we were as children,” Tom
said suddenly.
Miriam realized he was talking about the earl purely
to avoid talking about something even more awkward:
his feelings for her. He must be desperate.
“But we had fun together,” Tom said. “Neither of us
is a big talker, but we got along.”
“I remember,” Miriam said.
“When Master Stephen died…I didn’t realize it
would change everything so fast, so completely.” Tom
scrubbed the back of his head with his hand. “I was
fourteen—I didn’t think about that kind of thing. But
from one day to the next, I lost my best friend.”
“I’m sorry,” Miriam said.
“My fault for being surprised,” he said sardonically.
“If I’d remembered my place, and his lordship’s place,
I’d never have presumed on the friendship.”
And if he’d never presumed, Miriam realized, he’d
never have been so hurt by the loss.
She wanted desperately to comfort him. She
especially wanted to come back to the subject of his
feelings for her. And why he wouldn’t act on them.
“When you said a man shows his love in his
actions…” she began.
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Tom’s gaze, still filled with regret, sharpened on her.
“What about it?”
“You refused to kiss me?”
“I had to,” he ground out…and then the next moment
his arms were around her, his mouth on hers. Miriam
pressed herself to him, responded in a way that could
leave him in no doubt of her feelings…just in case fear
of her indifference should be holding off his declaration
of love.
When he finally broke away, her heart was singing.
Tom Harper wouldn’t kiss her like that if he didn’t want
to marry her.
“Oh, Tom.” She stroked his cheek with her hand.
“I shouldn’t have done that.” He twisted his head
away. “Miriam, forgive me.”
“I know you’re an honorable man,” she assured him.
“I’m not,” he said anguished. “Miriam, I’m not.”
She stumbled, until she hit the balustrade. “You mean
you were—you were toying with my affections?” It
sounded so melodramatic, but what else could she say?
You made me fall in love with you, when you had no
intention of marrying me?
“No,” he said miserably. “I love you, Miriam.” The
words that should have made her heart sing sounded
more like a funeral dirge. “It’s wrong for a man and a
woman to be unequally yoked,” Tom said. “It’ll only
bring us pain.”
“You think I’m not good enough for you?”
“What? No!” His fingers circled her wrist; he tugged
her away from the balustrade. “It’s the other way
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around. I’m not good enough for you. There are
things…things you don’t know.”
“Tell me,” she said, all hollow in her stomach.
“Miriam,” he said, with