to Caroline, yet she had never breathed a word of what it might be. Gillian seemed to know the secret, but they were siblings, after all. It was only natural that they share such things. By comparison, Letty was practically a stranger to Caroline.
“Right, well, you know that a man’s member is . . . well . . .” Gillian’s face was red now too.
“I’ve seen statues,” Letty assured her.
“Yes, well, a man’s member is not that small when he is interested in a woman. During lovemaking, it increases in size and becomes hard like the shaft of an arrow. Only . . . well, much wider, of course.”
Letty drew in a breath at the thought. That was a bit frightening.
“And then, you see, after some preparation, a woman is able to take that shaft into her body. Some men thrust only once or twice, but it usually takes more for them to achieve satisfaction.”
Letty paled. That sounded positively dreadful.
“What she means,” Caroline injected, “is that there is a rhythm a man and a woman can find together if they try. It might hurt a little at first. Some women experience very little pain, but others . . . It can be a bit more, but it does fade. Ask for him to hold still, until the burning between your thighs disappears. But with a bit of practice, our bodies can stretch to accommodate them inside us. You might be sore after the first time, but that is quite normal. If you feel yourself becoming anxious, just kiss him. That’s quite important. You need to focus on how it feels to be with him, to kiss and caress him. That’s the only way you can calm yourself that first time and ensure your pleasure.”
Putting aside worries about pain, she focused instead on what she thought was more important. “What is the pleasure like?” She had heard something about what the exquisite power of that final passionate moment between a man and a woman could be like. But she did not see how a body could feel the depth of what she’d heard described in those giggled whispers.
“Your body feels out of control, and the sensations . . . It’s hard to explain, but don’t be frightened by it,”Caroline said.“I thought I might die the first time I felt it.”
“But don’t be fooled by that,” Gillian added. “Embrace it, even if it scares you.”
Letty remembered all too vividly how Lord Morrey had spoken of their coming union and the way that she’d responded to him, how her slight fear of him had played some role in her arousal. No doubt he knew exactly what to do with her tonight. That thought reassured her. It also worried her.
“If you are frightened, you can always have a bit of warm brandy right before,” Caroline suggested. “It soothes one’s nerves.”
Letty took all of this in, more mystified than before as to what to expect. Yet she knew one thing with certainty—she would be having that glass of brandy tonight.
When the coach stopped before the small church, a footman helped Gillian and Caroline out first, then assisted Letty. The two other women would share the role of bridesmaids today. One handed her a small bouquet of lilies and white roses, while the other smoothed out Letty’s veil. Her veil had been attached to the tips of the coronet and trailed down behind her. The lace was sheer, almost as finely spun as a spider’s web.
“There,” Caroline said. “You’re ready.” The two women then walked ahead of Letty into the church to take their seats.
She stood alone at the end of the aisle, staring straight toward the altar where Lord Morrey and her brother stood. She thought for an instant of the embarrassing secret James had shared the other day, of how she used to marry her dolls off as a girl. But to her it had never been about a woman becoming a man’s possession or tying her identity to a man. It was about finding a companion, a partner she could share her secret dreams and innermost thoughts with. The person she would have children with, and they would raise them together. A person who would belong to her as much as she would to him.
And now the time had come for her to live out the first part of her dream. Marriage began upon the wedding day; this was the beginning. Now she was to be married to a man who’d promised to