a long time ago.
New tears saturated my cheeks and stung my newest lacerations as I sat and forced myself to eat and drink. There wasn’t any cream or sugar for the coffee. I wanted to speak to the window and tell my captor that if she’d really done her homework, she’d know I liked cream.
That thought didn’t last long.
“Which one?”
Which friend should live?
That wasn’t a question I could even consider.
Reid
Nine years ago
My pulse echoed in my ears as I entered Lorna’s and my apartment. The day was here and I was stereotypically anxious. I wasn’t nervous. This was the right decision, the right next step, just plain right. That didn’t ease my fretfulness.
For a moment, I stood in the front entry and stared into the living room and dining area of the kitchen. The sight before me calmed my thoughts. In the month’s time since Lorna had moved in, she’d made both obvious and subtle changes that together transformed this from my space to our home. I’d encouraged her every step of the way, prompting her to check out various shops and retailers. With the war we were currently fighting, I asked her to do as much online and over the phone as possible.
She said the floor-to-ceiling windows and the fireplace should be the focal points, not the television. It was an interesting concept I was willing to explore, as long as the television stayed.
Throughout all her virtual explorations, Lorna spoke about color in a way that brought a smile to her face. It was something that Mason had told her as a child. I couldn’t recall the exact wording, but in essence, color gave her strength, security, and serenity. That was why I was surprised when our new sofas were delivered and capos brought them up to the apartment.
They were gray, sleek, and minimalist.
It was the next box that brought the radiant smile to her face.
Throw pillows in various bright colors.
Oranges.
Yellows.
Blues.
Reds.
There was an array of shapes as well as shades.
Lorna’s next addition was a dining room table. After all there was a light fixture on a chain. It made sense to put a table below it. I’d always eaten at the breakfast bar. We still did occasionally, but we now had options. Next, a centerpiece and placemats arrived; like the pillows, there were so many colors.
There were many more spaces around the apartment that I was excited to have her decorate. Seeing Lorna’s vibrant personality come out in her choice of decor filled me with satisfaction like I’d never felt with this apartment in the past.
I looked at my watch as I sat the large box I’d brought on the new sofa. It was nearly eight in the morning, the morning of our wedding.
I supposed if I’d given my wedding much thought, I’d imagined one day having a ceremony in a church, the pews filled with family. Part of me feared that Lorna had imagined the same thing. With the way our life was, that wasn’t an option.
The day we planned was less festive—yet the outcome would be the same.
Last week we’d gone with the protection of Sparrows and applied for our marriage license. A small fee was all it took. Today, with the same bodyguards, the two of us will make our trip to the Cook County Marriage and Civil Union Court.
Retrieving the long white box, I made my way to our bedroom and pushed open the door. This room was still as it had been the first time I’d snuck my fiancée into my bed. It would take time to make the entire apartment ours. What we’d done in this room to make our future ours didn’t include decor. It was the time we’d spent as one, the hours spent holding her as she contemplated love and loss, and the nights we’d talked until the sun rose.
I laid the box down on the unmade bed as I walked toward the attached bathroom. The door was slightly ajar, but my steps stuttered, wondering if this was a good time for me to interrupt. As I came to a stop on the threshold, the door opened, pulling inward as Lorna looked up at me.
Wrapped in a fluffy towel, the dew of a recent shower upon her alabaster skin, as water dripped over her shoulders and her red tresses hung in damp curls, she was the absolutely most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. A smile came to my lips as I reached for her left hand. The ring I hadn’t