his expression twisted as if that thought gave him a deep and abiding pain. “I will promise you that even if I walk away to gather myself, there will never be a time that I won’t return. I—” He cut himself off and shook his head. “This was a small argument, Abigail, brought on by exhaustion on both our parts after the overwhelming circumstances of the past few weeks. It wasn’t the end of the world.”
Relief washed over her like a cool rain after a blistering heat, and she nearly melted in it, sagging against the carriage seat.
“Perhaps we can try to…to talk about where we go from here,” she suggested softly. “And I will try to be a little more open minded about what it was you asked me earlier.”
He smiled at her before he shifted to her side of the carriage. “Perhaps later. Later we can talk about all those things. For right now I would just like to…” He slid a finger along her jawline and she shivered at how close he was. How gentle he was.
He bent his head and his mouth found hers. The kiss was just as tender, a repair of a breach, a welcome back, a reminder that he was not the same as Montgomery. That he was a thousand times better, a million times.
And that she very much wanted him in her life, even if she never let him past the barriers that protected her.
He traced her lips with his tongue and she opened with a shuddering sigh, grasping at his biceps to hold herself steady as the kiss grew deeper and more passionate and more possessive.
He would have had her there on the carriage seat. She felt it in the desperation of his touch, but before they could move to that next wicked moment, the vehicle slowed as they turned down their own drive.
He pulled back. “Come upstairs with me?”
She nodded. In that moment, she wanted more than his touch. But she couldn’t have that, so she shoved those desires aside and instead focused on the passion she would allow. It would bind them again, make things safe again. That was all she wanted. That was all she could ever hope to have.
Nathan had made a study of Abigail in the year they had been acquainted, but never had he seen her vulnerability so clearly as he did now as they entered his bedchamber and she crossed to the bed. It wasn’t that her behavior was any different. Outwardly she was exactly the same. It was that he saw through her more now that he knew he loved her.
And what he saw gave him hope. She would not have cried over their argument if she truly didn’t care. She wouldn’t have seemed so small and heartbroken in the carriage. Now whether he could break down the barriers that kept her from sharing herself completely with him was another story.
He would try, and that was enough for now.
He moved toward her, and she stiffened as he reached her. It was evident she was still torn, fearful of losing the armor she’d built around herself for so long.
“Let me touch you?” he asked.
She didn’t answer with words, but wound her arms around his neck and lifted her mouth to his. He took it eagerly, and for a few moments he lost himself in her taste, in her scent, in the feel of her warm body pressed to his. This was the first time he’d done so knowing he loved her, and it meant everything to him.
He drew back, watching her soft expression, brown eyes hazy with desire. He smiled at her as he let his fingers find the buttons along the back of her gown. He swiftly unfastened them, then drew her gown down around her waist.
He remembered the first time he’d done that. The first time he saw her naked and his entire world shifted. How had he not known he loved her then? It seemed so obvious now.
Then she had seemed nervous when he looked at her. Now she arched her back, just the tiniest movement, but one that showed herself off a little. He cupped her cheeks and kissed her again, this time harder, with more drive and force. She softened against him, giving where he took with a tiny groan that seemed to jolt its way through him like summer lightning.
He hooked his fingers around the straps of her chemise, loving when he brushed the soft skin of her