too close to my time.” She added a bit of the fig compote to her pheasant-laden fork. “Mmm. Is that cherries with the figs? Delicious.”
Warrington nodded. “I was just about to remark the same.”
Marian smiled besottedly at her husband.
Nora struggled not to retch.
“It was not my meaning to suggest you have to accompany me,” Nora defended. It was actually the last thing she wanted. She could do with some time away from Marian . . . from her entire family for that matter. Considering she had never had a respite from her family ever, it was long overdue.
Marian looked up, blinking innocuously. “Then who did you mean to accompany you? Charlotte has her hands much too full with Cordelia.”
“I uh . . . I can bring Bea. She should be glad to be of use. She is oft complaining that I don’t utilize her nearly enough.”
“It does vex her that you forgo her services.” Marian shook her head ruefully. “Poor lass.”
“Then she should be most glad to accompany me to London and be of use.” Nora reached for her glass and drank deeply, counting herself the winner of this skirmish.
Until her sister spoke.
“I’m sorry, Nora. I cannot approve. You’ve never been to London, and we cannot send you there without one of us to escort you . . . especially to call on a gentleman I am convinced never wants to see you again. He parted here quite ill-tempered. I can hardly release you to his clutches.”
“Clutches?” She snorted. “He’s not a great clawed harpy, Marian.”
“Your sister is quite correct,” Warrington agreed, his deep voice carrying across the table. Of course he agreed. “You cannot go down on your own. Even with Bea as a companion, it’s not advisable.”
Her brother-in-law doted on her sister. He would not naysay Marian on a matter such as this. Doubtlessly, he thought Nora’s wishes to go down to London were trivial and therefore easy to dismiss. He couldn’t know, couldn’t understand, what it meant to her.
Her fingers tightened around her cutlery until her knuckles went white. Their denial felt like a slap—a reminder that she would never be an autonomous person to them . . . to anyone. To the world she was merely Nora Langley, kinswoman to people who mattered but not a person who mattered in her own right.
She might operate under the illusion of independence, but it was just that. An illusion. In moments like this, when reality slapped her in the face, she felt as powerless as a newborn babe.
“Is it merely a trip to London you crave?” Marian asked as she served herself from the platter the footman proffered. “Perhaps we can all go? In a half year?”
We can all go. In a half year.
Again, as though she were a little girl being placated with the promise of a sweet treat. The words only added to her bad temper. In a half year. Those words felt as heavy and burdensome as a yoke about her neck. It would be too late by then. Sinclair would have written to Durham and the others. Her good name could very well be ruined even as far as their small shire.
Marian smiled at her in a cajoling manner, perfectly oblivious to Nora’s churning emotions.
The footman arrived at Nora’s side and she distractedly lifted the serving spoons to serve herself.
Her sister thought her offer perfectly generous. She had no notion of Sinclair’s threat to expose Nora’s machinations to the world. For some reason Nora did not want to reveal that piece of information, however much it guided her impulse to go after Sinclair. She was certain Marian would be appalled and Warrington would feel compelled to act on her behalf. He would likely leave Marian in her delicate condition and hie off after Sinclair. He’d think it was his duty as her eldest male relation. Her brother was still a lad in school, after all. The last time he’d visited during holiday his voice still cracked when he talked.
It was rather nice, she supposed, to have an older brother to care for her and look after her. She couldn’t drag him into her mess.
No, Nora could not have that. It would be just her luck that Marian would give birth whilst Warrington was gone. That was unacceptable. She could not risk that happening. She could not reveal Sinclair’s threat and potentially be the reason he missed the birth of his first child.
Her sister was perfectly kind and she had done so much for Nora,