she becomes his neighbor.
“I’m not sure,” she says. “I like the idea of not having any property maintenance, but I’ve been living in St. Louis for so long, I kind of want a little garden. I can’t make up my mind.”
She turns to Buck, “Do you have a garden in London? I’ve never been before.”
“I have a beautiful garden,” he tells her. “It’s not big but there’s also a large common park shared by the houses in my neighborhood.”
“Oh, like in that old Julia Roberts movie Notting Hill?” she asks.
“Just like it.”
“That sounds heavenly,” she tells him, all the while batting her eyes at him. Gross.
“Why did you move back to Creek Water?” Buck asks her.
“I guess I felt like things weren’t moving fast enough in St. Louis. I liked the company I worked for, but I was such a junior designer, and it would be years before I finally got to be in charge of any important accounts. It seems all my money went to maintaining a life that wasn’t going anywhere, at least not anytime soon.”
I can’t imagine Jessica would have ever answered so candidly if she knew who Buck and I really were. She adds, “When I turned thirty, I figured it was time to reevaluate what I was doing with my life. I decided I’d rather be a big fish in a small pond, than a minnow in the ocean.”
Buck and I are both silent while we absorb her admission. I finally say, “At least you tried to swim in the ocean. That’s something to be proud of.”
“Do you ever think of moving somewhere else?” she asks me. “You know, somewhere bigger?”
Even though I’m enjoying talking to Jessica for the first time ever, I don’t want to give her any power over me. So, I answer, “Alexander thinks I should move to London.” That’s not technically true, but it is the only place other than Creek Water that he wants me to live—probably just so we could dance, but there’s no sense getting into all of that.
She looks disappointed to hear this. “Oh. Well, that would sure be a big change, huh?”
“Yes, it would. I have a lot to think about.” I venture a glance at Buck to see how he’s reacting to our conversation. He’s staring at me with a good deal of surprise, interest, or doubt—I can’t tell which.
Instead of commenting, he says, “I don’t know about you ladies, but I could sure use an iced tea.” He looks at Miss Maybelle and asks, “Do you think it would be okay if we took a short break?”
“I think you’ve earned it,” she declares. “We’ll meet back here in ten minutes.”
As our instructor walks away, Buck asks Jessica, “Could you show us where we can get a cool drink?”
“Why don’t I go get you something?” She walks away before he can answer.
Buck turns to me. “So, you’re thinking about moving to London, are you?”
“Maybe.”
“Ashley …” he says in a warning tone. “What are you up to?”
“Nothing,” I tell him, obviously lying through my teeth.
He doesn’t answer. He just keeps watching me. I wish I knew what that look meant. I wish he’d just come right out and say whether or not he thinks there could be something more between us.
Chapter Thirty-Six
January 8, 2013
Dear Molly,
Buck came home today for Mom’s funeral. It’s so good to see him, but it’s also weird. He goes by Alexander Freeport now and he’s turned into a city slicker, wearing a suit, tie, and cashmere overcoat. When I told him I didn’t want him to change, he promised he’d always be the same boy who took me to prom. Then he gave me a great big hug and went to bed at 6 p.m. to get a leg up on his jet lag.
I didn’t know what to do with myself after that. Sammy thought we should watch one of Mom’s favorite movies, but I couldn’t. Instead, I paced around the trailer trying to get a feel for what my life was going to be like now. It’s so empty and quiet without her. I sat on her bed and even put on her nightgown to try to feel her presence. It didn’t work. I’m twenty-three years old and my mom is dead. I’m all alone in the world.
Jessica asks if we’d mind giving her a ride into town after our dance class. Her mom is busy talking to a group of women and she claims that could last a solid week.