went overdrive, and stayed overdrive, after I did what I did, saw what I saw, and lost what I lost in the service, Kathryn. Sometimes, it’s gonna be natural, a need to connect with you and dominate when we do. And sometimes it’s gonna be therapeutic, a need to control and release.”
No threat of me passing out now.
I was getting a lot of oxygen due to me breathing heavily at all he was laying on me.
“So how do you feel about that baggage?” he asked.
“I think our morning has been way too heavy to face any longer without coffee,” I answered.
“That isn’t what I’m looking for, honey,” he replied softly.
I knew it wasn’t.
Shit!
Where did I go with this?
I started with, “Okay, with all that’s happening, I’m sure you haven’t missed I’m a pretty strong person, Boone.”
“Your shit plus my shit equals a fuck ton of shit.”
With what he’d just given me, I was seeing he was not wrong about that.
“If you promise not to break, I won’t either,” I told him.
“I can’t promise not to break.”
Oh boy.
I took a moment to process that as I took him in.
Boone, all that tall, muscled commando goodness, warning me he could break?
I had entirely no clue how to deal with that and my next words shared I didn’t.
“Boone, baby,” I whispered.
“It’s getting real and it’s doing it fast with us, Kathryn. You’ve got your shit. I’ve got mine. But yours is external. Mine is internal. It’s also external with buds who are dealing with the same load as me, and after losing Jeb the way we did, I’ve made a promise to be there for them, same as they have for me. And I’m dedicated to that. You and me made this decision to give us a shot, and so you don’t bear the burden of thinking your baggage is going to point me to the door, you need to go in with your eyes open because it might be you who needs to walk away.”
“You liked my outfit yesterday,” I reminded him.
“Yeah,” I confirmed.
“And you told me,” I went on.
“Baby, I give good boyfriend and I know you’re gonna like what I do to you in bed. But compliments on how you dress are not gonna light the dark times.”
“How dark does it get?” I asked hesitantly.
“I know guys who have it worse, and for the most part, I feel I got a lock on it or an outlet to let it go if that lock feels like it’s slipping. But if it gets loose, it’s not a trip through the light fantastic.”
Lamely, I flipped out a hand. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I don’t either. I just know you need to know what you’re headed into so if this doesn’t work out between us, I didn’t fuck it up from the start by keeping that from you.”
“Okay, well, we have that. I’m out there with my crap, you’re out there with yours. That might not be a meet-cute start that leads to us ice skating together and sitting close in a park staring into each other’s eyes, holding cones while ice cream melts down our hands and heartwarming trips to the pound where you get me a puppy we both know we’re going to raise together all in a montage with ‘You’ve Got the Love’ playing over it. But it’s what we’ve got. And outside my mom, no one has ever even offered to stand between me and the shit of life, and you did that not half an hour ago. You did it without hesitation just offering to answer the phone for me. So I guess the only thing I’ve got to say right now is, I’ll take it.”
Boone just stood there, deceptively casually, leaning against the jamb.
But his eyes were hot on me.
“Oh, and you have an insanely gorgeous body. So seriously, there’s a lot a girl will put up with just as long as you grace her doorway in nothing but your skivvies.” I ended that with a shrug.
I then cried out in surprise when he came at me, and at first, I had no clue how to respond.
Retreat was out, seeing as, in that little bathroom, there was nowhere to go.
I would find I didn’t want to go anywhere.
He caught my head in his hands and his mouth came down on mine hard.
He kissed me harder.
He did this pushing me against the sink so it dug into my back.
I did not care.
Not even a