talk about it, too.”
And so, I launched into everything that had happened since being poisoned by the nightshade, talking so quickly that I barely had time to drink my hot chocolate, let alone eat pancakes. But the whole situation was making me so anxious that I didn’t have much of an appetite, anyway.
“Have you ever remembered a dream so clearly before?” Rosella asked when I was done.
“No. I have intense dreams a lot, but they always fade, like dreams are supposed to.”
“Then your experience doesn’t sound like a dream.”
“I know that,” I said. “But if it wasn’t a dream, then what was it?”
“What do you think it was?”
“I don’t know.” I let out a long, frustrated breath and stabbed my pancake with my fork. “That’s why I’m asking you.”
“Your intuition is strong. I’d like to hear what you think.”
“My thought sounds crazy.” I’d barely even let myself think it, since it was too out there to possibly be true.
She cocked her head to the side. “Crazier than everything that’s happened in the past few months?”
“Yep,” I said. “Definitely crazier.”
“Then I’m all ears.”
“All right.” I said, sitting forward. “Have you ever heard about the multiverse theory?”
“The theory that there are an infinite number of worlds running parallel to ours, each the result of a different decision we’ve made.”
“I guess that means you’ve heard of it.”
“I can see the future.” She smiled. “But I only see the future as it would turn out at that point in time. The moment I share a person’s future with them, they can make a different decision and change the future I previously saw. So I know more than anyone that there are many ways life can play out.”
“But is there only one way it can play out? Or does each decision cause a split, so it plays out in both ways, but in different worlds?”
“You think there’s another world where you opened up to Ethan in the cove, and he ended up with you instead of your sister? And that the nightshade allowed you to experience that world?”
It sounded crazy when she said it out loud.
“Is it possible?” I asked.
“I wish I had an answer, but I’m afraid I don’t know,” she said sadly. “However, what I do know is this—you exist in this world, and the past is set in stone. You create your own future here. What point is there in wondering what your life would be like if you made a different decision in the past?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “But maybe if nightshade brought me there once, it can bring me there again.”
“If there are an infinite number of worlds, how can you guarantee that taking the nightshade would take you to the exact same world you experienced before?” she asked, although she continued before I could answer. “Even if you could return to that world, you had no control of your body in there. Would you want to be a parasite living inside this other version of yourself forever? And if you did choose that, what would happen to your actual body here?”
“You’re making my head spin.”
“I’d say I can’t imagine it, but I see a future that’s regularly changing, so I’m not one to talk,” she said. “But tell me—how have these memories been making you feel?”
“Sad,” I said without a second thought. “Alone. Confused. I’m grieving a relationship that no one else knows about. One that technically never existed—at least not in this world. And I can’t talk about it with anyone. Except now, with you.”
“And I’m more than happy to listen,” she said. “But you came here to ask me a question.”
“I just asked you a ton of questions.”
“But you haven’t asked the question. The one I can actually answer.”
I took a deep breath. Because once I asked, there was no turning back from the decision I’d have to make.
“If I took memory potion, would it erase my memories of what I experienced with Ethan?”
I held my breath, unsure what I wanted the answer to be.
If she said no, then I wouldn’t have to decide if I wanted to take the potion or not. It would be decided for me.
If she said yes… then I’d forget how incredible it felt to be loved by Ethan. How safe and cared for I was with him.
That would be a good thing, I reminded myself. It’s what I want.
Was it?
“Yes,” Rosella answered, giving me no sign if she thought this was a good idea or not. “It would.”
“Do you have