Don't Overthink It - Anne Bogel Page 0,49
we’re less likely to flounder.
If you want to embrace the power of ritual, you don’t need to stress about finding the perfect one. Instead, aim to incorporate more rituals into your life, beginning simply and enjoying the benefits. For they are many.
Next Steps
1. What rituals do you currently rely on?
2. Are there any rituals you’d like to implement? What are they?
3. Can you identify any routines you could elevate to rituals? What changes would you need to make to accomplish this?
12
Let’s Splurge
“You don’t ever do something just because it makes you feel good?” The assistant shrugs. “Mademoiselle, you need to spend more time in Paris.”
Jojo Moyes
It couldn’t have been a more gracious email that sent me into a tailspin. The message confirmed our upcoming reservation for Bogel, party of six, though reservation isn’t exactly the right word. This restaurant sells seats like a theater would for a hot show—in other words, they’re nonrefundable and sell out far in advance. Will and I had purchased ours months before; it had seemed like a good idea at the time. But when I saw in print that yes, we really paid that amount for this experience, all I could think was, What on earth were we thinking? Why had we spent so lavishly on one dinner for our children, who might not even be old enough to appreciate it?
Will and I had been to the Chicago restaurant once before, just the two of us, to celebrate something special. And the night had been special, memorable from the first bite to the last. The food was surprising, provocative, different. It was indeed like theater, and as we ate, we kept saying, “This place would blow our kids’ minds. Wouldn’t it be fun to bring them?” We mentally filed a return visit into the “maybe one day” category, and long after our meal, we continued to discuss the possibility of a return trip with all six of us.
Nearly two years after that memorable meal, we bought the tickets. Will and I had been sitting on the couch watching Parks and Recreation while Will tinkered on his phone, when something caught his attention. “Hey,” he said, “if we really want to take everyone for dinner, we can get a table for six on Memorial Day weekend.” We already had plans to rendezvous with college friends in the city that weekend; we could easily tack on an extra day and go to dinner. Wouldn’t that be fun?
Those tickets would be snatched up in a matter of hours, if not minutes. If we wanted them, we had to act fast—but we’d already been thinking about it for years. We decided to go for it. Will grabbed the debit card and booked a table for six, months away.
I didn’t think much about those future reservations in the following months; my mind was focused on our busy present. Then the email arrived, a simple message confirming our visit. Its purpose was to set the stage for a wonderful experience, but its arrival triggered delayed sticker shock. What had we done? And also, Can we undo it? My brain raced through the possibilities, trying to think of a way to return the unreturnable and get our money back. Could we extricate ourselves from the situation? Did I really want to?
I kept thinking about our kids—specifically, I realized we never investigated whether the restaurant even allowed children. We assumed our kids would be pleasant and well behaved, but was I kidding myself? I googled the restaurant and saw that last year the chef berated a couple for bringing a baby to dinner when their babysitter canceled. Maybe we could call and explain our situation; maybe this was our out.
With growing alarm, Will watched me rant. “What is your deal?” he asked. Though to his credit, his actual words were gentler and his questions were good ones. “We agreed to do this,” he pointed out. “We’ve been looking forward to it. What’s changed?”
I struggled to explain. “I am excited,” I told him. “I think it will be a great night, and our kids will remember it forever. But it costs more than I’m used to spending, and that feels uncomfortable. I keep wondering if we did the right thing.”
An Uncharacteristic Indulgence
A splurge, by nature, is an experience beyond the normal routine of our lives. It’s when we spend—often, but not always, money—freely, even extravagantly, in a way we typically don’t. A splurge is in the eye of the beholder; it’s an indulgence that