Don't Overthink It - Anne Bogel Page 0,40

them to work within. People tweak the challenge for their own use, but we give them the first draft.

I’ve learned to implement this principle in the workplace as well. Starting things is hard, and there’s no need for me to make every decision myself. My small team is smart and talented, with lots to contribute. So when we begin projects, I often ask them to give me a starting point by brainstorming ideas, sending me tasks they’re willing and able to take on, and proposing time frames and deadlines. It’s much easier to react to something they’ve already started than it is to create something from whole cloth myself. I’ll ask for clarification and provide feedback, but I don’t generate the first draft on my own. You may not manage a team, but the principle is transferable: When you’re getting started, can someone else give you something to respond to?

When You Need Help Wrapping Up Loose Ends

Insecurity and fear generate a tremendous amount of overthinking about matters big and small. When we’re not sure we’re doing it right, whatever it is, we can’t mentally move on, so we unintentionally leave the door open to overthinking. When we lack confidence in our own judgment, it’s natural—even, in a perverse way, useful—for our thoughts to repeatedly return to unanswered questions or unresolved situations, because our brains don’t like unfinished business. If we can get someone we trust to tell us to rest easy, we can stop this pernicious thought cycle.

Some situations in life are never going to be 100 percent resolved, so why not strive to preserve your mental energy by resolving the things you can? This can be as simple as getting a pro to confirm you’re doing it right. Years ago, before CrossFit entered the mainstream, I followed their program, lifting weights at home in our garage. Relying on books and YouTube for guidance, I taught myself moves like “snatch” and “sumo deadlift”—exercises in which proper form is crucial, both for efficacy and safety. I thought my form was okay, but I was far from sure—and every time I worked out, I wondered if I was doing it right.

A year into my CrossFit journey, work took me to Chicago, a city that, at the time, was home to one of the country’s few CrossFit gyms. I made an appointment to visit and specifically asked for help assessing my form on foundational weightlifting moves. Lifting with an audience felt strange—I’d learned the moves on YouTube, and another human had never seen me execute them—but it was worth it. The coach’s simple words—“you’re doing it right”—stopped my overthinking immediately.

I’ve found that sometimes a simple conversation can resolve years of persistent worry over recurring themes like these: Am I supporting my daughter’s schoolwork in the way she needs? (The school counselor confirms that she’s doing just fine and doesn’t need or want you to become a helicopter parent. You’re doing it right.) Am I killing my fiddle leaf fig with overwatering? (The whiz at the local plant shop confirms that, nope, despite what the internet says, because of our climate here, you’re doing it right.) I’ve just been putting moisturizer on that irritated skin, but is it a symptom of something more serious? (The doctor confirms that’s exactly what you need to do and there’s nothing to worry about, you’re doing it right.)

It’s easy to miss the potential here for outsourcing, because we’re not necessarily outsourcing an item on our to-do list. We’re enlisting someone else’s help to answer a lingering question. And once that decision is made, it no longer takes up space in our mind. When you know you’re doing it right, your brain can rest easy. You don’t feel compelled to wonder about that issue anymore, because that thought loop is closed.

Ask for Help and Live Your Best Life

We don’t have to do it all ourselves. When we get someone else to do it, we give ourselves the gift of one less thing to worry about, one less thing to handle, one less thing to manage so we can put our mental energy to better use. And that’s just one thing; imagine the cumulative effect of doing this repeatedly!

This strategy safeguards our mental space and often carries fun bonuses besides. We save time, we have fun with friends, we may even save money. We get smarter thanks to the expertise of others, and we learn things we didn’t even know we didn’t know.

Getting someone else to do it isn’t just