Divided (Unguarded #2) - Ivy Stone Page 0,43

spent together. I knew what time of the afternoon to expect him. We’d always have tea in the courtyard before he leaves. He never came without some sort of junk food. They were little things that had grown to mean so much. So much so that in a few hours I’d managed to plan a little escape to see him and get back without being noticed. I just have to hope it works. It’s crazy. Probably stupid. But it’s his birthday and I want to give him a present he won’t ever forget. I want to give him me. The best version of me I’ve ever been. Clean, healthy and for the first time in my life, a body with curves, not skin and bones.

The distinct smell of booze and cigarettes hits my nostrils as I near the Victory, a bar Roamyn and his work friends are supposed to be at. A bar just around the corner from Lindsey’s loft which I’m guessing isn’t a coincidence seeing Detective Cole is chasing after my sister. Hungry eyes roam over me from head to toe. Pulling at the hem of my tee as if keeping it down will hide any part of me from guys staring at me from the smoker’s area outside, I pick up my pace and hurry inside. Passing through security at the door, I search for blonde hair and broad shoulders. Roamyn’s built like the hulk, it’s impossible not spot him in a room, but tonight the bar’s filled with dancers, drunks and mostly people around my age. I manage to push through the crowd without getting knocked around and when I reach the booths near the back of the bar Roamyn and the other detectives come into view. Heat radiates through me as I move fluidly toward them, a smile adorning my face.

The pretty female cop frowns at Roam and as she speaks my smile falls. “You’re not talking about who I think you’re talking about, are you? Because she’s not in a state right now for you to be taking advantage of her, Roamyn.”

My pulse races, but it’s got nothing on my mind as it spins with unanswered questions.

Who is she talking about?

Why would Roamyn be taking advantage of anyone? He wouldn’t do that.

Roamyn sighs and his shoulders fall. His head cast downward and still, he and the others fail to notice me standing behind their table listening to their conversation.

“Look, I know it’ll never go anywhere with her.” His beautiful voice drowns my hope. My knees lock up. Tears build in my eyes. His words pull at the strength I’ve built back up, the courage I found to come here to see him. To voice the feelings I’ve always had for him. “She’s not the woman for me.”

My mangled heart cracks. Another piece chips off lost forever. My lip quivers as I hold every irrational tear because, for all I know, he’s not talking about me. It could be someone else. But hearing every doubt I’d run a thousand times in my mind leave his lips, was rejection I can’t handle.

“She’s just a girl but… Ouch. Shit, man. What was that for?”

“Hey, Alison.”

I can hear Detective Cole’s voice. I can hear the music, everything around me, but I’m frozen somewhere between it’ll never go anywhere with her and she’s just a girl. It keeps replaying as I stare at the back of his blond head.

She’s just a girl.

Roamyn turns and his eyes catch mine. His posture stiffens, shock ever present in his face. It takes only a moment for the guilt to appear and squeeze my heart with utter humiliation.

He was talking about me.

In an instant, the person who’s brought me the greatest happiness causes the strongest, most gut wrenching pain. Pieces of my heart fall around my feet. I should leave. But my feet stay glued to the floor as his words echo in my ears. I glance down at my plain tee, skinny jeans and boring black boots as the first tear falls. I shake my head. How could I have been so stupid? I push back through the crowd, hiding my red eyes and watery cheeks behind my hand. How could I have believed for a second this man would feel the same way about me that I feel for him? He’s older. Wiser. Could have any woman he wants. I’m just a girl with a crush on a cop who was doing his job.

So stupid.

A hand wraps around my forearm and