all.” He ran his fingers through his hair. There was no easy way to get to the point. “Eliza… you won’t believe this.” He chuckled. “I think I met an angel.” He shook his head. “Anyway, I’ve been talking to God. For real. I really believe He wanted me to meet with you.”
“You talked to God?” She narrowed her eyes. “You said you weren’t sure you even believed. Because of… what happened.”
“Right. That was before. But these last few weeks I realized… whenever I needed Him, I was still praying. Still asking for His help.” He paused. “So I asked Him again and this guy… this stranger showed up. I can tell you more later, but when he left, I asked God about you.”
“Me?” She looked to the deepest part of him. “Why?”
“Because I’d hurt you. I knew it.” Jack had to make her understand. He chose his words with great care. “But now I know why I hurt you.”
This time she didn’t respond, but her eyes never left his.
Nothing could’ve stopped him from taking her hands now, not with what he was about to tell her. He reached out and gently eased his fingers between hers. Friends could do this, right? If not, they could sort out the confusion later. For now there was only the river, the San Antonio September sky, and the two of them.
He ran his thumbs over her soft hands. “Eliza, it wasn’t that I didn’t like pretending to be your husband.” He let himself get lost in her eyes. “It was that I couldn’t make myself pretend not to be.”
Doubt and disbelief seemed to come over her in a rush. She pulled her hands free and sat back in her seat. “What… what are you saying?”
“I’m saying… I couldn’t kiss you. Because… I was falling for you.”
Her expression changed with every breath. Trust and belief. Joy and delight, gratitude and hope. In an instant, his words had set her free from her darkest fear. That he could never see her as worth pursuing… because of what she viewed as her criminal past.
There was still much to tell her, and even now this could only be a friendship. Because of the important work they both had to do. But it would be a friendship deeper than either of them had known. A love with God at the center. But before he could put his thoughts into words, Eliza did something that told Jack everything would be okay. Even though they could not possibly be romantically involved, and even though they would never kiss again, at least she didn’t hate him anymore. She forgave him.
Jack knew. Because in that next moment she took his hands in hers.
And this time, neither of them let go.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
As surely as the Lord lives and as you live, I will not leave you.
—2 Kings 2:2
Eliza was dreaming. That was the only way to explain what was happening. Had Jack Ryder really just said he was falling for her? And that’s why he hadn’t wanted to kiss her? She fought to keep her reaction measured.
I still don’t want love, she told herself. I don’t want to date him.
But at least now she understood what had happened in the Bahamas. Jack wanted her, he was attracted to her. Nothing that he’d done while they were in Nassau had been a rejection. And even though she still worked to keep her walls up, they were falling apart with every passing moment. Because Jack was different. He wasn’t like any man she’d ever imagined knowing. Right now all she wanted was to sit in this moment. Live in it. In case this time with him really was only a dream.
Eventually their dinner arrived. Eliza wanted to freeze time so she could hear what Jack meant about God telling him to meet with her. And so she could hear about this angel. If that’s what it was. When they were done eating, she folded her hands in her lap. “Thank you. For telling me about the Bahamas.” She didn’t look down this time. “I thought it was because of… the Palace.”
“I know. I get that now.” Jack shook his head. “That’s behind you, Eliza. Another lifetime ago.” His blue eyes darkened. “Besides… I have my past, too.”
Whatever he was referring to, his yesterdays certainly would have paled in comparison with hers. But Eliza let the subject go. “So… we can be friends. Is that what you’re saying?”
“It is.” Sincerity shone in his expression. “I need