stop thinking about you. Ever since we… You’re all that’s on my mind, constantly, every second of the day. It’s like I’m obsessed.”
Lynn stared at him, suppressing a smile. “Really? Tell me more, please. Can you give me some examples?”
“I wake up in the middle of the night and think of you. I can’t eat; my stomach is in knots constantly. I go on Instagram many times a day, scrolling through your account, looking at your pictures. I look at them when I…pleasure myself and…”
“Okay, okay,” Lynn said. “I get the idea. Jeff, now we talked about…”
He leaned forward and grabbed her hand in his. The movement was so swift she barely had time to react.
“I can’t stand being without you, Doc. You’re everything there is. It’s maddening. Did you read any of my emails I sent this week? You didn’t answer any of them.”
“I read every word,” she said, looking down at her notepad. “And I do appreciate you taking your time to write to me. I just haven’t had the time to write back.”
His eyes eased up as he looked into hers. “I thought there was an explanation. It was driving me nuts. I kept wondering if you didn’t like me anymore. I was so scared you’d leave me.”
Lynn scoffed. “I’m not going anywhere, Jeff.”
His shoulders came down, and he leaned back on the couch. “I am so glad to hear that, Doc. I was so worried…”
“It’s those abandonment issues. We talked about those, remember?”
He nodded. “They do drive me nuts. It was just after I saw you in that restaurant and watched you, and you didn’t look at me the way you usually do, so I got scared, and I’ve been obsessing over that ever since, fearing you’d tell me you couldn’t see me again.”
She lifted her gaze and met his across the room.
“I would never do that, Jeff. Ever. You’re my favorite patient. I look forward to you coming every week.”
He smiled and sighed. “I am so glad to hear that, Doc. Do you think we can kiss again? Because I really enjoyed that. It made me so happy; you wouldn’t believe it.”
Lynn sighed and took off her glasses. She looked into his eyes, then tilted her head.
“All right. But just one kiss.”
Chapter 51
Matt agreed to take care of the kids, even though it wasn’t willingly. We fought about it all morning, and I ended up hurrying out the door, coffee in my thermos. I didn’t even say a proper goodbye to Angel and Owen. I just slammed the door shut, then hurried to my minivan and drove out to pick up Scott in Viera. I was still fuming with anger as he approached the car. His smile was charming when he got in, and I felt my anger melt away instantly.
That’s the effect he had on me.
Part of me wondered if I had just been angry all morning because of Matt or if it was really because I knew that today I would most likely lose Scott if we found Sarah, as was the mission. He would be happy and take her home with him, and I would probably never see him again. It wasn’t a pleasant thought. No part of it felt good. If it was true that I was really angry about losing Scott, then what did that mean for Matt and me? Was it silly of us to get married if I found myself so easily attracted to another man?
“You want a protein bar?” he asked and held one out for me. I had already eaten cereal, standing up while yelling at Matt, so I wasn’t exactly hungry. Still, I took one and ate it, then washed it down with my coffee.
As we made it across the two bridges and onto the mainland, I felt myself finally ease up. I was acting insane. It had to be the hormones from breastfeeding. They made me do and think stupid things—that had to be it.
I turned up the music loud and decided to leave all the anger and resentment behind me. I’d have to deal with Matt later.
After about an hour's drive, we arrived in the small neighborhood in the south end of Winter Park, not far from the Mead Botanical garden. I had been there with Matt a few months earlier and was reminded of a wonderful afternoon marveling at the hundreds of rare plant species—back when things were a little less complicated—before the two infants came into our lives. I had to