the ghost of a true smile. "An unintentional bonus. You are well?"
"Well enough." She suddenly realized that they were alone here, so close to the house that they could not even be overlooked by a window. Could she go into his arms, particularly when he needed comfort?
Too dangerous. Too dangerous by far.
"What will you do?" she asked.
"Return to the queen and apologize. Once the crying stops."
She realized that he had halted where he still could faintly hear the noise, and that it had just stopped. She realized something else. Bey had a powerful urge to cherish and protect. Walking away from distress must wound like a blade, and it spoke clearly of how terrible such things were to him.
All newborns cried.
Did he have another reason for not having children, one that even love might not be able to overcome?
He held out a hand. "Time to return, my lady," he said, superficially the perfect courtier again.
She placed her hand in his and he led her back toward the queen's garden. "What of your situation after racing after me?" he asked.
"I'll say I thought the queen commanded it."
This was their first private moment since the coach, and now they were approaching the corner of the building. When they passed it they would once more be in sunshine, and in view.
Will breaking, Diana halted and pushed him against the brick wall. There, one hand behind his head, she kissed him, not long, but deeply, and rested for a moment afterward inclined against his body.
She took, he did not give. Yet because he did not resist, she knew he took, too, took contact and comfort. He did not break free either, so they stayed together for perilous minutes, until she found the strength to step back from him, to take his hand and restore the way they had been before.
He stopped her then, merely by a pressure on her fingers, and they stood looking into one another's eyes.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"This is not another burden for your soul," she stated. "I refuse to accept that role, Bey. We are as we are. I will not deny it. We will also survive, no matter what."
He raised her hand and pressed a kiss to it. "Your courage shames me. I will endeavor to do better."
"You are perfect."
"Clearly not."
Moments later, apparent images of propriety, they stepped into sunlight and view. Both children were gone.
"Lord Rothgar!" the queen screeched. "Present yourself!"
He dropped Diana's hand to go forward and bow, but the queen snapped, "And you too, Lady Arradale!"
Diana sank into a deep curtsy, and let him raise her.
"Lady Arradale," the queen demanded, "we did not give you permission to leave our presence. And you turned your back!"
"I beg your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you commanded me to bring Lord Rothgar back."
"Would I send you rather than my guard?"
"Yet she succeeded in the task, Your Majesty," Rothgar said, drawing the queen's fire, as he surely intended.
The queen's eyes narrowed. "By what means, I wonder?"
"Sweet reason, ma'am." He bowed again. "Forgive me. I was overset by the children's distress. Your Majesty, in your wisdom, will know why."
The queen's glower softened slightly, but she said, "Then perhaps you should not have children, my lord."
"My thought entirely, ma'am."
Diana could have laughed at the queen's look of annoyance, except that this was all so heartbreaking.
"Why are you here, my lord?" the queen snapped. "Disliking children as you do."
He didn't protest that unfair statement. "On a mission of charity, ma'am. Lady Arradale prepared to come south at a moment's notice, and might need to visit the shops and merchants here to supplement her wardrobe. If she wishes it, I could arrange for my secretary to carry out any commissions she might have."
"Lady Arradale?" The queen turned to her, still frosty.
"There are some items, yes, Your Majesty." Despite logic, Diana's heart began to dance with anticipation. To Hades with his secretary. If she went shopping, surely Bey could escort her.
"Why make do with a servant?" the queen asked, as if picking up her thought.
At that moment, Lord Randolph hurried up with a white blanket and didn't quite manage to hide irritation that the children had been taken away.
The queen smiled at him anyway. "Lord Randolph will escort you, Lady Arradale, along with Mistress Haggerdorn and a footman." She turned the smile, now almost triumphant, on Bey. "Thank you, my lord, for the suggestion."
He seemed completely unmoved as he bowed and took his leave, and perhaps he was. Diana would like to think that his