I haven’t seen him but there’s a note on the fridge.”
“Okay.”
“Is everything okay?”
I laugh, nodding, because what the hell am I going to say, exactly? My adult brother is not home at six o’clock and it’s freaking me out big-time? I go into the kitchen and read the note. That’s when my belly really does drop, because I know exactly what it’s implying.
Crashing at a friend’s for the night. Love you, sis. Wyatt.
I stroke my hand over the note as though I can wipe away the ink, and so wipe away reality. Sleeping over at a friend’s? We both know that means he’s going to get high. Oh, it won’t start with any hard stuff. He’ll have a few drinks and a couple of bong hits, and then he’ll feel sleepy, so he’ll need an upper, too … and on and on, until his body is a drug cocktail.
I take out my cell phone, pacing, as I call him. He’s been so good these past two weeks. I seriously thought I was getting the old Wyatt back. He doesn’t answer.
I call again. No answer.
Again. Nothing. Fucking nothing.
“Hey, hey,” Zora says, walking toward me with her hands raised. “You’re shaking, Dani. What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
I explain as best I can with my breath all raspy and a thousand scenarios running through my head, all of which involve Wyatt OD’ing. I remember his rattlesnake breathing the last time I found him, how pale he looked, how dead.
Zora sits me down and makes me one of her lemongrass teas, and we just sit there for a while.
When I’ve calmed down a little, she mutters, “I don’t know what to say, Dani. Like I want to make you feel better, but what can I say?”
“Nothing. Because we both know he’s most likely doing drugs,” I mutter.
She nods, sighing. “I’m a shit friend. Here, let me try again. Don’t worry, baby doll, I’m sure he’s fine.”
I laugh softly, nudging her. “Never call me ‘baby doll’ again, Z.”
“How about this?” she says. “I’ll bring my work out and you can, I don’t know, watch TV or read your nursing textbook or something. And we’ll wait.”
“We might be waiting all night,” I say. “He said he’s sleeping over.”
“Then we’ll wait all night! Make a girls’ night of it.”
I nod, standing up to get my emergency med textbook. It’s been a while since I’ve looked at it anyway. “Thank you.”
I try my best to focus, but it’s hard with all these OD’ing thoughts whirring around and around my head. But eventually, I manage to sink into the work a little, making some good notes that I’ll be able to refer back to later. I keep them simple, flashcard stuff, so that I’ll be able to memorize them when I finally get the time. Then it’s half past ten, and Wyatt still isn’t home—because of course he’s not, because he said he’s staying at a friend’s, because this whole waiting-up thing is just a lie to make me feel better—and Zora’s yawning.
“You can go to bed,” I tell her. “I’m fine.”
But she doesn’t. She turns on the TV and grabs a blanket. I lie down, spent from my shift. I don’t expect to sleep when I close my eyes. I think I’ll just lie here all night, worrying.
But I do, after about half an hour. I fall into a fitful sleep where I dream of Dad slipping on the road, and then Wyatt’s throat making that horrible rattle noise. And Angelo, standing behind them all, like he’ll be there for me, like he means something.
Bzz. Bzz.
I wake to the brash ring of the apartment buzzer at four in the morning, feeling groggy and disoriented. I just about manage to zombie-walk to the intercom and jam my hand down on the button. At first, I’m going to snap at whichever drunk asshole is mashing the wrong button. But then the fog of sleep clears and I remember Wyatt, and my heart starts beating really fast.
“Wyatt?” I breathe.
“Is this Miss Wood?” a man says.
“Um, yes,” I say, my voice sounding really far away.
“I’m Officer Johnson,” he says. “Would you mind buzzing me up, miss? Or you could come down.”
I press the button that will let him up, and then start pacing around the apartment. Zora sits up on the couch, rubbing sleeping from her eyes. “What time is it? Dani? Are you okay?”
“A police officer is coming up here,” I say. “Right now.”
“Wait, what?”
I explain. She tries to sit me