ready to lose my shit.
“Yeah?” Lucian set a speculative look Ethan’s way. “Sort of mission?”
“Larissa Olson sort of mission,” Ethan said.
“The fuck you’re going anywhere near that,” I said. “That’s a clusterfuck waiting to happen.”
“You been practicing verbal diarrhea again?” Ethan said, but it didn’t come with any heat.
“I’m with Ryker on this one,” Lucian said. “That’s not undercover—that’s dead and buried. I thought she hadn’t been seen for years? Tell me they’re not trying to rescue her? She’s been there for what? Ten years? She’ll be broken or indoctrinated by now.”
“Not a rescue,” Ethan said. His gaze strayed toward Lilly. “Observe was the word Governor Brach used.”
“No one observes a mind reader,” I said, then frowned. “You think she’s really a mind reader?”
Ethan’s slow nod set my teeth on edge.
I could feel my hands trembling. I wanted to go and snatch Lilly up and protect her from this danger that she was yet to be aware of. “This is bullshit.”
“You think I want this?” Ethan said, pinning me with a glare. “I don’t fucking want this. But the bastard has me by the balls. She’s a governor’s daughter and the director of a critical viral program. What am I supposed to do? Take her and run? I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. But that’s no fucking answer. I’m about to force her heat. I’m not stopping until her scent has good and changed, and I know she’s been bred. I don’t want to walk away from that, and I don’t want to fucking die.” He huffed out a breath. “The military owns me as much as my Omega does. They own us fucking all. There was a time when I embraced all the shit they threw at me—when I wanted to die. Lyus was a hell hole, but I was a king there. Here, I’m just another cog that they turn when they need a certain kind of job. They didn’t make me what I am. I made myself. Now I have to pay the price.”
“If you die, it will destroy her,” I said.
A cold smile touched Ethan’s lips. “I best not die then.”
CHAPTER SIX
Lilly
SOMEHOW I MADE it through the remainder of the evening with the threat of a forced heat hanging over me. I got up on the podium and delivered my speech to the applause of the crowd. It was unusual for an Omega to take on such a role, and although I was nervous, I rejoiced in the experience.
Having lived through the terror of an Uncorrupted attack and subsequent capture, I was determined to help in any way I could. My leadership position had been snatched from my hands because I was an Omega, and because I’d allowed myself to be manipulated by Tsing.
Being an Omega didn’t have to be seen as a weakness. And I believed there were facets to the dynamic that filled a missing diversity to our business society as a whole. I was breaking ground and creating a new path for other Omegas who wanted to be more than coveted possessions.
I never set out to be the catalyst for change, yet it was happening nonetheless, and I was dreaming of the day when we could have a purpose that went beyond meeting our mate’s needs. I recognized how fortunate I was in having two Alphas who were disinclined toward clipping my wings. Further, they both supported me.
Several prestigious conglomerations and a university had already approached me to speak. Living amid the backdrop of the endless Uncorrupted war was dispiriting, and I took hope where I could find it.
I worried though, about my heat, about leaving the program unattended while I was indisposed, and ridiculously, about the state of my nest.
They were going to do wicked things to me in the nest. It would be utterly destroyed and yet I still worried about it not being good enough, like it might throw everything out of whack and I might not get with child.
Then there was the whole aspect of me having a career and going into heat. Most Omegas were part of the military, given their skills, and Omega heat was part of everyday life. I wasn’t part of the military; I was the director of a program. Going into heat was like making a global announcement to the world that I would be getting down to a new business of debauchery with not one, but two Alphas! I could imagine Merry politely declining my meetings, or worse, blocking out