“Truly. But asking a dragon for one of his scales seems like a piss-poor idea, frankly, and how do you even know it would work?”
“My great-aunt was a witch. She left a book, full of recipes and notes. One of them was for making a medicine from a dragon’s scale.” Holling shrugged, the motion listless. “The others have all worked, when we’ve tried them. And she always seemed to know what she was doing. I don’t see why this wouldn’t work too. It has to.”
“Because it’s insane,” George put in. “No offense, and if it were something like harvesting stinging nettles under a full moon that was inconvenient but possible we’d all pitch in, but I don’t see you marching up the hill to ask a fire-breathing monster to rip off a bit of himself as a favor.”
“Because Stephen doesn’t know the dragon,” said Mrs. Drucker. “None of us do. He moved into Baron Marlow’s castle — and we haven’t heard anything since, except for his servants coming to town for supplies. They pick everything up, don’t even order deliveries. No one’s spoken to him. We assume he can change himself into human form like all the stories say, but he’s only been seen as a dragon.”
“All right,” Deven said slowly. Every alarm bell he possessed was ringing at its loudest pitch. Nothing was ever straightforward with a bloody committee. “All true. Do I really need to point out that I don’t know the dragon either?”
“But you have, let’s say, a gift for getting to know people,” Mrs. Drucker said, leaning forward and fixing Deven with a piercing stare. “Without mincing words, you can charm the pants off of anyone, and you frequently do. Quite literally. We don’t need a thief, Mr. Clifton. The scale must be given of the dragon’s own free will, and since dragon scales can be used against the giver in other types of magic, according to the same book, he won’t be easy to persuade. We need a seducer.” She sat back with a sharp nod, as if that settled the matter.
Deven gaped at her. He shut his mouth with a snap, and then gaped some more. At last he managed, “Are you completely out of your mind? A seducer? You’re quite seriously sitting here,” and he gestured wildly at the violet-patterned tea set, as if its respectable presence ought to confer some sanity on the proceedings, “telling me you want me to go up to the castle and ‘charm the pants off of’ a dragon? Who breathes fire. And quite possibly eats people, have we forgotten that? My chances of getting back alive with the scale are a hundred to one.”
Barclay let out a crack of laughter, and Deven whipped his head around. He’d almost forgotten the man was there. “Well, it’s not like anyone would miss you, and in the meantime maybe not every husband will be cuckold—”
“Shut up,” Mrs. Drucker hissed. “You’re not helping. And the dragon hasn’t eaten anyone that we know of, anyway! Dragons usually don’t these days, I understand.”
“Very reassuring,” Deven said, “but seriously, this is the worst plan I’ve ever heard. What am I supposed to say to account for showing up on his doorstep, anyway? They wouldn’t even let me in the castle.”
“Glad you asked, Mr. Clifton, because we have it all worked out.” She nodded again, this time with a smile, and Deven had the sudden sensation of a man who’d stepped into quicksand without realizing it, and was in up to his neck before he could blink.
“No, hang on a moment, I haven’t agreed to any—”
“A tribute,” Mrs. Drucker said, rolling over him with the ease of a veteran of a thousand council meetings. “It’s traditional to offer a human sacrifice to dragons when they move to a new place. Usually it’s a virgin, but,” she shrugged, “in this case that would be a bit counterproductive, wouldn’t it? So we’re emphasizing your innocence, since after all you haven’t committed any crimes that we know of and it’s not technically a lie.”
“You’re — you’re — when the hell have you had the chance to talk to the bloody dragon about my innocence, of all things?” Deven’s innocence? He wasn’t sure he’d ever had any, and if he had it was years gone, and not missed at all.
“We’ve sent a letter, and we’re awaiting a reply. And I’m sure it will be affirmative, because what dragon doesn’t want gifts from humans?”
“We’re going to send you along with