I hope it was the same for you.”
She reluctantly slid her tongue across the pinpricks to close them and lifted her head away from temptation. She nodded. “It was.”
He continued to stroke her hair. “That is a good thing. I want you to come to me when you are hungry. If you can’t find me, reach out to me. Don’t wait until you feel starved. You will need extra feedings for a while.”
At once panic set in. “I won’t be with you? If I’m not with you, won’t I be in the ground? I can’t be on my own. I won’t know what to do.” Her heart rate had gone crazy and her lungs burned for air. She couldn’t do this. She really couldn’t. She couldn’t even look around her, let alone be on her own. Just because he held her and gave her blood and gave her permission to speak didn’t mean she could maneuver her way through a world she didn’t know or understand.
She clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from blurting out another word. It was already far too late. He could read her mind anyway. She’d gone from appearing half-normal—or at least she hoped she looked that way—to looking insane. He was stuck with crazy. She did try to crawl off his lap back to the welcoming soil. It was impossible to move when Ferro didn’t want her going anywhere. He simply clamped his arms around her and held her to him.
“You are having another panic attack. Breathe. I am not going to leave you on your own until you are ready. Stay still, piŋe sarnanak. Just breathe while we go over a few more rules.”
She could do that. Rules made her feel safe. She liked rules. He stroked her hair in that soothing way he had, and she found herself following his breathing pattern. She liked that he called her “little songbird.” It sounded a little like an endearment. He wasn’t making fun of her, or taunting her. He seemed only gentle when he could crush her so easily.
“I know that you are very afraid of Malinov attacking this compound.”
She gasped at his audacity in naming the master vampire. She even put her fingers up to cover his lips before she could stop herself. It was a terrible transgression, and the moment she did it, she knew she should be punished. She dropped her hand into her lap and bowed her head.
“I’m sorry. Truly. I shouldn’t have touched you without permission. There is no excuse. Whatever you deem is a fit punishment …”
Ferro caught her hand and returned her fingertips to his lips. “I am your lifemate. You are allowed to touch me when you wish or have need. Sometimes those needs will be for comfort, other times they might be sexual. You might just want to feel close. Whatever the reason, there is no need to ask for permission. I intend to touch you at will.”
She was confused, frowning at him. “But I belong to you. You have the right to touch me when you desire to do so.”
He shook his head. “I belong to you as well, Elisabeta, but we are lifemates, not master and prisoner. Not master and slave owner. Not vampire and captive. Those days are over for you. He will not get you back. You have every right to say no. To me or to anyone else.”
Elisabeta was more confused than ever. Shocked even. She didn’t understand what he was telling her. It sounded so farfetched she was afraid he was trying to trick her. The inevitable panic began to well up and she pushed her fist into her mouth, biting down hard on her knuckles. She didn’t understand anything. The cool earth looked so good to her. She understood the richness, the wealth of the soil. The way it surrounded her body and eased the pain in her joints the tiny cage had caused when she couldn’t exercise properly or get enough blood to sustain her. This world she found herself in now was so foreign to her that she didn’t understand even one small part of it.
Ferro stroked more caresses in her hair, soothing her. “We are going to start with simple things. Do you remember how to clothe yourself or is this something the vampire insisted he do?”
That shamed her. “He did if he allowed clothing. He always made decisions.”
“Do you prefer to wear dresses or trousers?”
Her heart accelerated. Was it a trick question? What