That’s what I was thinking, and I really am not sure. Now, are you trapping me in here or are you going to let me keep shopping?”
He stepped to the side, and I held my breath as I walked past, hoping he wouldn’t smell mouthwash on me.
I pretended to consider what was on the shelves as my mind raced. Thanks to Emily and Merdon, I’d have a hard time finding supplies in Tolerance. James’s liquor cabinet was out since he was always home. Even if they both left, there were too many fey roaming around. And the big grey idiots were too willing to listen to Merdon instead of helping me out anymore.
Briefly, I considered Cassie’s again.
“What are you looking for?” Merdon asked from behind me.
“Nothing and anything, all at the same time. Can’t you go be someone else’s pain in the ass for a while? There’s no damn booze here to tempt me.”
He didn’t answer, and I didn’t turn to look at him. Knowing the only way to get rid of him was to be done, I put a bunch of random shit in the box then started for the door.
The ass reached around me and plucked the box from my arms.
“What the hell? Now I’m not allowed food and toiletries?”
He looked through the box and plucked the toilet bowl cleaner from the contents. With a challenging stare, he handed the box back to me.
Humiliation flamed my cheeks.
“I drink because I don’t want to suffer, idiot. I wouldn’t drink that.”
He said nothing, just continued to stare at me.
“You know what? Fuck you, and fuck the supplies.” I tossed the box to the floor. “I don’t need them.”
I felt like I was constantly turning my back on him and storming off. Why in the hell couldn’t he get the message and leave me alone already?
He wasn’t the only thorn in my side.
Emily opened our front door before I reached it.
“Are you hungry? I made some mac and cheese for lunch.”
I gave her a cold glare as I passed her.
“Save it for your new best friend, Merdon. He’s right behind me.”
And he had been--the entire way back to the house. But when I glanced back, he wasn’t following me inside. He stood on the snow-covered lawn, his arms crossed as he met Emily’s sad stare.
“Why don’t you just screw already and fuck each other over instead of me?”
Emily’s mouth dropped open as she shot me an angry look.
“There’s no need to be mean,” she said, closing the door.
“How old am I, Emily?”
“Eighteen,” she said.
“An adult, then. Yet, you and that grey-skinned, cave-dwelling reject are treating me like a child incapable of making my own decisions.”
“Because you are.”
“Why? Just because you disagree with my choices doesn’t mean you have the right to make them for me. That kind of shit is why people start fighting at Christmas dinner. Better yet, Hitler, that’s how wars start. Do you want a war?”
“No. I want you safe, Hannah.”
“No one is fucking safe, Emily. When are you going to get that through your fucking head?” I calmed myself slightly and shook my head at her. “I pity you for your delusions. I might want to drink the truth away, but at least I acknowledge it’s there.”
“That’s why you drink? Because you think you’re not safe?”
I threw my hands in the air.
“Go ask your dumb questions to the body pile the fey buried because of the breach. They’ll be able to answer you better than I can.”
She didn’t say anything more as I climbed the stairs.
My stomach gurgled sickeningly as the scent of whatever Emily was making for dinner penetrated my room. I rushed for the bathroom and threw up bile and mint. Stupid mouthwash.
The sweats were starting again by the time I finished heaving and rinsed my mouth out. Desperate for fresh air, I opened my window and leaned out. The lights were already on along the wall, and shadows moved along the streets. Looking over the houses and the soft glows illuminating their windows, I let myself believe, for just a moment, that this was a normal winter night.
The illusion burst before it could start when a fey stepped into the light and stared up at me. Then another. And another.
I retreated and closed the window.
Ignoring the watchful presence I had outside and Emily’s hesitant knock at my door, I paced the confines of my room.
The tremors weren’t horrible. The random sweats sucked. But, it was the moments I swore I heard Katie whispering my