the remodel.
Charlie Perkins, Preacher’s fiancée, had gone to the Ranch House too, as there was no way she could make the hour-long drive from Shiloh Ridge to her house in the northeast hills with the tornado sirens going off.
Exhausted now, Etta finally thought about herself. I don’t know what I need, Lord, she thought. But You do. Help me to recognize it when it comes into my life, whatever it is. Even if it’s simply being the best aunt to all the babies coming to the family, that’s fine. I can do it. I’ll do what You want me to do.
It had taken Etta thirty-five years to learn that lesson, and most days she still struggled. She had things she wanted out of her life. She wanted a good, strong man at her side. She wanted to be a mother more than anything.
She didn’t understand why the good things she wanted weren’t coming true. She prayed to be good enough. She served others. She worked hard around the ranch. She fought against the jealousy when it came, and she never gossiped. She simply wanted to be good enough for the Lord to bless her with the true desires of her heart.
You are good enough. The thought came to her, and Etta started to weep. She’d been working so hard to keep in touch with her spirit, to feed it the words of God every day, to attend church, to think of others before herself.
“Thank you,” she whispered, and with that assurance that the Lord knew her and loved her, Etta got into bed with Stetson. She reached over and made sure the blanket covered him adequately, and she kept her hand lightly on his arm, the human connection something she needed powerfully in that moment.
She closed her eyes and let herself drift, finally infused with comfort and peace though the storms of life raged on around her.
The next morning, Etta woke very early. Her bladder tended to do that to her, and it didn’t care that the clock only read five a.m. or that it had taken her a long time to fall asleep.
She sat up in bed while Stetson slumbered on and swiped on her phone. She’d joined the main dating app for Three Rivers, which was a localized app for the men and women living specifically in the Texas Panhandle.
She’d tried the bigger, national apps, but they felt full of dishonest people or profiles that hadn’t been updated in a while. She’d chatted with a man for a couple of weeks before he’d said he’d moved to Dallas from Amarillo two years previous.
Etta didn’t need to expend energy she didn’t have, so she’d retreated to the local app. It didn’t have as many options, but Etta didn’t get on very often. Christmas morning felt like a great time, though she hoped it didn’t make her desperate.
She read through some of the profiles she’d seen before, a couple which she’d actually tapped on to indicate she liked them. The men hadn’t responded to her tap, and Etta deleted them, the silent rejection almost as harsh as someone coming right out and saying they weren’t interested.
A new profile came up when she scrolled, and she paused on the name Marshall Redmond. He was a cowboy, as most of the men were—the app itself was called Cowboy Connection—and he had a nice smile. A little crooked, but Etta actually liked it.
Feeling brave, she tapped on the heart on the top right, next to the brim of his black cowboy hat, and kept scrolling.
Not two seconds later, a heart flashed across her screen too, with the words Marshall Redmond likes you! Chat with him now.
She tapped the heart and the chat part of the app opened up.
Etta’s heart tapped out a quick staccato rhythm. She hated meeting men this way. It felt so unrefined to her, but a message popped up that said, Merry Christmas Etta, with a Christmas tree emoji and then a bright yellow star.
A smile formed on her face, because at least he hadn’t led with how pretty she was. She quickly tapped out a message too. Merry Christmas, Marshall. What are you doing today? Family activities? Just trying to stay warm and dry?
Next to her, Stetson snored in the cutest little boy way, and Etta glanced at him, pure love filling her. When she focused back on her screen, she found Marshall typing, and a new hope entered her heart that perhaps this year, she could fully heal