escrow, it’ll be ours.
There’s a grin on my face, and I can’t seem to shake it. Fuck, I don’t even want to. I draw in a huge breath as I stand, and for a moment it feels like I’m still rising, like a fucking balloon some sweaty kid lost at the fair.
Christ. Why am I so surprised? In this economy, with my generous offer? But I am surprised. Fuck it, I’m shocked. Because honest to God I thought the Universe would send a last fuck-you to the four boys it’s been such a motherfucking cunt to all these years.
Nothing’s ever been easy.
Getting out of the basement.
Trying to keep us together. Focused.
It’s been hard fucking work all the way.
I can’t remember how many times I’ve wanted to give up. How often I’ve wanted to let the Universe win.
But then I’d think of them.
Of my brothers.
And I’d find my second wind. I’d get the strength I need to tell them we need to push on. And they’d rally. They always rally.
I shove my phone in my pocket and head for Gabriel’s apartment again. But my euphoria starts fading the closer I get. My steps become reluctant.
About a yard from his door, I slow down. Then stop.
This means everything to them, to me…but I can’t stop thinking about the house. I’m even getting fucking feels about it. All I want to do is spill my guts to them. I’d call them, but it has to be in person. I want to see their faces light up as I tell them about the infinity pool and the dance room and all those big fucking windows. Light everywhere. The coast so close you can taste salt in the air.
Fuck.
I rake fingers through my hair.
Fuck!
He’s one man, Gabriel, but suddenly I feel like I’m facing off against an army. And it’s just me this time. I don’t have any of them. Yeah, I’m only supposed to find out where he is. Track him until we’ve got everything in place to grab him. But it’s suddenly too real. And, at the same time, surreal.
I’m walking into a nightmare, when I should be heading for the life of my dreams.
That house is everything we’ve always wanted—
I close my eyes, shake my head.
What the hell am I thinking? Of course they won’t be happy. This—I open my eyes and glare at Gabriel’s door—this is what they want.
What I want.
What we’ve always wanted since that first repulsive hand touched us. Since that first voice whispered to us that everything was going to be fine, as long as we play along.
It’s just a game. You like games, don’t you, Mason? Can I call you Mason?
My skin crawls at the thread of unwanted memory, but I’m too agitated to push it away. So it slithers in deeper, grabs hold of my conscious mind.
I fold my fingers around Gabriel’s door handle. Open the door. It should be locked, but it isn’t.
This game, I call it hide and seek. But we’ll be playing it a little differently, okay?
My Ghost’s voice raises goosebumps on my skin. I grit my teeth and step inside Gabriel’s apartment. The next door is standing open. I swear I can hear sounds coming from inside.
I’m going to take this chocolate—you see it?—and I’m going to hide it. You like chocolate don’t you, Mason? You must be hungry. If you find the chocolate, then you can eat it.
My heart hammers inside my rib cage like a fist trying to break down a door. I slink to the side, pressing my back to the wall.
There’s a clatter from inside Gabriel’s room.
Fuck. He’s here. I have to leave. Go wait by the stairs. Watch him. Send a message, let my brothers know—
Now close your eyes, Mason. Close your eyes so I can hide the chocolate. Good boy. Keep them closed. I’m hiding it now. Good boy. Keep them closed. Give me your hand. Yes, good boy. Now I want you to find it. Go on. Don’t be scared. Put your hand in, Mason. There. You feel that? Feels good, doesn’t it?
Nausea wells up so fast, so bitter, I taste bile in my mouth before I can swallow it down.
The world swims, and for a second I’m convinced I’m back there in that room. My first night with my Ghost. Playing hide and fucking seek with a sicko.
I cataloged them all. My Ghost, their Ghosts. They’re all saved neat and tidy inside my head. Their voices, what their aftershave smelled like, the size and