and Premium Bond counterfoils and God knows what else, and that when he woke up he would almost certainly want my advice on some item plucked from this financial midden. Sure enough, when he awoke of his own accord, and had revived himself with a cup of tea, he went over to the desk and pulled out some correspondence to do with National Savings.
‘This woman up north keeps pestering me to buy more Savings Certificates,’ he said. ‘What’s the matter with her?’
‘I don’t suppose she signed them personally,’ I said. ‘They’re computer-generated.’ I glanced at the papers, which were form letters bearing the printed signature of the Commercial Officer of the National Savings headquarters in Durham.‘You’ve got several certificates that have expired. They want to know if you want to cash them in or buy new certificates.’
‘Can’t I just leave them there?’ he said.
‘Well, you can, but they’ll earn less interest than new ones.’
‘But if I buy new ones I’ll have to wait another five years for them to . . . whatd’youcallit . . .’
‘To mature, yes.’
We silently contemplated the possibility that he might not live long enough to enjoy the accumulated interest on his loan to the government.
‘I think I’ll leave them where they are,’ he said.
‘Why don’t you cash them in and treat yourself to something.’
‘What?’ he said, meaning, for once, not What did you say? but What sort of thing?
‘I don’t know . . . Hire a limousine to take you to Brighton.’
‘Don’t be so bloody ridiculous,’ he said.
‘You’re always complaining you miss the sea. You could fish off the marina.’
‘I tried that for a while. It’s nothing like the old West Pier. You have to walk for miles to find a place to cast. Then it’s miles back to find a lav.’
He obviously felt this was a knock-down argument against my frivolous suggestion, and I did not contest it.
‘There must be something you would like to do,’ I said.
‘No, there isn’t,’ he said dourly. ‘I’m past doing things. If I can get through the night without getting up more than three times, if I can do a decent job in the lavatory after breakfast, if I can make my dinner without burning anything, if there’s something worth watching on the telly . . . that’s as much as I can hope for. That’s a good day.’
I could think of nothing cheering to say to this.
‘Take my advice, son,’ he said. ‘Don’t get old.’
‘But I am old, Dad,’ I said.
‘Not what I call old.’
‘I’m retired. I’m on a pension. I have a Senior Citizens railcard and a bus pass. I always have to get up in the night at least once. And I’m deaf.’
A faint grin lightened his countenance. ‘Yes, you are a bit Mutt and Jeff, aren’t you?’ he said. ‘I’ve noticed. I wonder where you get that from? At your age I had perfect hearing.’
Having asserted this superiority over me, his mood improved. ‘What would you like for your tea?’ he said. ‘We could have those baked beans with a bit of bacon.’
I looked at my watch. ‘I’ll have to be going soon,’ I said.
‘Why don’t you stay the night? The bed in your room is made up.’
‘No thanks, Dad. I’ve a lot on tomorrow.’ Lie.
‘Well, have a bite to eat first.’
I said I would if he would let me cook it and show him how the grill on the cooker worked.
‘No need, I’ve got it taped now,’ he said.
But I insisted, to ensure that the meal was edible, and grumblingly he acquiesced.
I left the house at about six. He watched me putting on my overcoat in the cramped hall under the low-wattage bulb, and pulled back the felt curtain over the front door to let me out. We shook hands, his musician’s fingers cool and soft in mine. ‘Well, goodbye Dad,’ I said. ‘Take care of yourself.’
‘’Bye son, thanks for coming.’ He gave me a smile that was almost tender, and stood at the open door until I passed through the front gate. I raised my arm in a final salute, and set off for the station with a guiltily light heart. Duty done.
5
5th November. The responsibility for Dad’s welfare weighs heavily on me because there is no one to share it with. I am the only child of parents who themselves had no siblings. Dad and I have practically no relations with whom we are in contact, and none at all living in London. He has two elderly female cousins on his