the best results. We all want to bring Archie home safely. And we will,’ she said with conviction.
The anger seemed to drain out of her at the mention of her son’s name.
Kim waited.
‘Monday night,’ she said, shaking her head as her thoughts relocated and attached themselves somewhere else. ‘Just two days ago, we were talking about a brother or sister for Archie. Something that’s impossible now. Archie is biologically Louise’s child but he’s still—’
‘Of course he’s your son,’ Kim said. She guessed that though Louise had given birth to Archie, Robyn had never regarded the child as anything other than her son too.
‘Not everyone feels that way. Many people feel that I have no claim to him at all: my own brother being one of them.’
‘You have a brother?’ Kim asked, surprised. Why wasn’t he here now supporting her? In fact, where were any family members?
‘He’s a dick,’ she said honestly. ‘He’s travelling back from a conference in Geneva, but quite honestly, I’d prefer him to have stayed where he was. If you get the misfortune of meeting him, you’ll see what I mean.’
‘You’re not close?’ Kim asked, remembering her own brother, Mikey, who had died in her arms when he was exactly Archie’s age. She would have given her own life to save his. She knew that if he’d lived beyond their mother’s neglect and torture, they would have been as close now as they had been back then.
‘Pah,’ she said disgustedly. ‘It’s not possible to get close to Robert. He places himself in competition with everyone he meets, and if he can’t beat them he dismisses them. We see each other rarely, but no meeting goes by without some kind of snarky comment or judgement on my chosen lifestyle,’ she said, making speech marks around the word chosen.
‘Aah, he’s one of those,’ Kim said, raising an eyebrow.
Robyn smiled weakly. ‘Oh yes, he’s definitely one of those. I could have a perfectly normal heterosexual life if I wanted to. Says he just wants me to be happy.’
‘So he means well?’ Kim asked charitably.
‘Absolutely not. He wants a sister with a normal, conventional family. He doesn’t like how my sexuality reflects on him, as though I’m defective, and that people will think he’s tainted with some kind of imperfection brush. Appearances are everything to Robert. He buys likes for his business in textiles which he markets on all social media platforms.’
‘Buys likes?’ Kim asked, not really interested, but the longer Robyn talked the calmer she became.
‘Yeah, you can buy likes for your social media pages that make you look much more popular than you are, and Robert does this all the time. It validates him and then he ends up believing it himself. It’s hilarious. Louise and I laugh about it all…’ her words trailed away as she realised that just for a few moments her mind had allowed her to forget the reality of her current situation.
‘Did they get on?’ Kim asked.
Robyn shook her head. ‘I’ve grown accustomed to his ways, and I’ve learned not to react because it just fires him up. Louise couldn’t let any snarky comment go and would challenge him on everything.’
Kim got the feeling she would have liked Louise. She felt a sudden wave of sadness wash over her. She remembered walking into this home just yesterday, an interloper in a family that had been primed for normality. The food had been cooking, the wine had been poured and she had walked in and destroyed it for ever.
‘It’s him I hate,’ Robyn said, as though reading her thoughts. ‘Every fibre of my being wants to meet him face to face and make him suffer the way I’m suffering now. I want to take the most important things in his life and smash them to pieces.’
‘Absolutely normal,’ Kim said.
‘But I can’t do it,’ she said as a tear slid over her cheek. ‘I can’t hold on to it. There are so many emotions running round inside me that I don’t know which ones to try and hang on to.’
Kim understood. How did one grieve while trying to maintain hope? How could she fall apart when she still needed to stay strong? How did she even begin to find a new normal when her son was still missing?
Kim stood to leave. There was nothing more she could give Robyn right now.
‘Why?’ Robyn asked suddenly as her eyebrows drew together.
Kim turned and waited.
‘Why would you believe this is the best way to handle him when it’s clearly