loved the scent of fur and dominance, loved going after humans, loved the change, loved the bucks. Loved the buzzer that went off after a rider’s ass had already hit the ground. He’d loved the traveling, loved being around the boys. Loved the recklessness of this life. The chaos and uncertainty of it.
But now?
The arenas were packed now more than ever, but they still felt empty without Raven here to tell him, “It’s okay,” after he finished a buck. Last week, without her with him, he’d dropped down to fourth place, and this week he needed to get his ranking back and put the herd back together. No pressure or anything.
“Ten minutes,” a handler said through the door with a soft knock.
Dead didn’t answer, just pulled an energy drink out of his bag. Under it was a package of skittles from his dad and a Snicker’s bar from a care package Raven had sent him. She sent one every week. Her favorite candy was Snickers, so she always put one in there for him, knowing his dad had the skittles covered.
Why did his chest always ache so damn bad now?
The handler knocked again.
“Ten minutes, yeah, yeah, I got it,” Dead barked out.
When the door creaked open, Dead stood. “I said!—”
Raven popped her head in the door.
Huh. Apparently, energy drinks caused hallucinations these days.
She looked so good right now. Were those black wrangler cut-off shorts? God, his imagination was awesome. Long legs with those badass tattoos, the boots he’d bought her, a blood-red tank top, and her black cowgirl hat. Deeeelicious.
“You owe me an L-word.”
Dead frowned. His imaginings weren’t usually so demanding.
She cracked a smile.
“Raven?” he asked. God, he was gonna feel dumb if she wasn’t real.
She opened the door the rest of the way and blasted her hands on her hips. “I’m prepared to hear it. Lay it on me. Make it mushy.”
“Oh, my God, you’re really here?” He took a few steps toward her, and then that little hellion closed the gap. She ran to him and jumped, and his dumb ass barely recovered fast enough to catch her.
“Geez, you’re heavy, heifer,” he joked.
She swatted him and acted offended. “I said be romantic.”
He gripped the back of her neck and pulled her in, kissed the devil out of her. He didn’t know about romance-shit, but he did know she always went quiet when he kissed her and always looked drunk afterward. Drunk was probably good.
“Damn, girl, I missed you,” he murmured, hugging her so tight. He never wanted her to unwrap her legs from his waist. “When we die, let’s die fucking so they can bury us like this,” he said.
She tossed her head back with a laugh. “Getting colder. That’s not romantic at all.”
“What are you doing here?” he asked, swaying them gently.
“I figured out something important while I was trying to make my old life work. While I was trying to love it like I used to before I met you. It didn’t work. You know why?”
He shook his head. “Why?”
“Because you are my home, Dead. And our herd is my home. I just needed some time to accept that. We happened fast, and I wanted to make sure this was real for both of us before I left everything behind. So…I left everything to find everything. Do you understand?”
He shook his head in disbelief. “Are you staying with me?”
“Hashtag camperlife. Hashtag moocrew.”
Dead laughed for the first time in what felt like forever. He set her down until her boots were flat on the ground. “You’re staying on the tour with me? I just want to hear you say the words.”
She cupped his cheeks and searched his eyes. Hers were black right now. Beautiful, badass woman. “Dead of Winter, I’m coming on tour for the rest of the year. And in the offseason, we are going to figure out a home base and a life together. Then next year, we will go on tour again. And again. And again until you don’t want to do this anymore. And I’ll buck, too. I got paid five thousand dollars when I bucked, and do you know what I did with that money?”
He shook his head.
“I put it in a savings account for a ranch for us someday. For a home. Me and you are gonna build one, okay?”
“Build a life?”
“Yeah,” she whispered.
He gripped her hair in the back and tried to be gentle with his next kiss but, goddang, he loved her. Loved every single thing about her. Loved